Откройте свой Мир!

Система английских времен с точки зрения употребления глагола TO VODKA.1. Во-первых, необходимо уяснить, что в исследуемом языке существуют глаголы:-неопределенные (indefinite), то есть неизвестно, пьешь ли ты или не пьешь,
-длительные (continous), то есть ты пьешь и находишься в состоянии глубокого запоя,
-завершенные (perfect), то есть ты уже либо вышел из запоя, либо уже окончательно напился и вырубился.

2.Во-вторых, существует объективное:
-настоящее(present)-ваше отношение к спиртному,
-прошлое(past)-темное или светлое
-будущее(future)-то что вам светит: цирроз печени, наркологический диспансер, белая горячка и т.п.,

3. Теперь все смешиваем.
3.1 Present
3.1.1 Present indefinite (настоящее неопределенное): I vodka every day- я пью водку каждый день. Вместо every day можно употреблять выражения (usually, seldom, often, from time to time, from MELKAYA POSSUDA, BOLSHIMI GLOTKAMI…)
3.1.2. Present Continuous (настоящее длительное): I am vodking now- Я пью водку сейчас
Для эмфатического эффекта с этим временем можно употреблять наречия He is constantly vodking!-он постоянно поддатый!
3.1.3. Present Perfect (настоящее завершенное) I have already vodked- я уже нажравмшись. В ответ на предложение выпить)
3.1.4.Pressent Perfect Continuos (насятощее заверешнное-продолженное): I have been vodking since childhood- я пью водку с детства(тип inclusive). Я пил водку с детства (но уже не пью)-тип exclusive.

3.2. Past:
3.2.1 Past indefinite (прошедшее неопределенное): I vodked yesterday- я напился вчера. Не путать со временем 3.1.3. там ты напился только что.
3.2.2. Past Continuos (прошедшее длительное). Часто употребляется как придаточное предложение к главному во времени: Unforunately, I was vodking at the moment my wife came-к несчастью я пил водку в тот момент, когда пришла жена.
3.3.3. Past Perfect (прошедшее завершенное). Также употребляется как придаточное: I had already vodked when my wife came. Я уже упился, когда вошла жена.
3.2.4. Past Perfect Conntinuos (прошедшее завершенно-продолженное): I had been vodking for about a month when my wife came-Япил водку уже около месяца когда вошла моя жена.
3.3 Future Indefenite(будущее неопределенное): I will vodka tomorrow-я буду пить водку завтра.
Примечание: В придаточных предложениях времени и условия (то есть при отсутствии подходящего времени и условий) вместо времени 3.3.1 употребляется время 3.1.1: If I vodka tomorrow, I will be sick the day after tomorrow-Если я выпью завтра, я буду болеть послезавтра.
3.3.2.Future Continuos (будущее длительное) I will be vodking tomorrow at 5 –Я буду заниматься употреблением горячительных напитков завтра в пять.
Примечание: При горячем желании опохмелиться вместо времени 3.3.1 можно употребить время 3.3.2: Soon! Soon I will be vodking! CСкоро!Скоро я буду пить водку!
3.3.3. Future Perfect (будущее завершенное).Употребляется при планировании состояния опьянения6 Tomorrow by 5 o clock I will have vodked-Завтра к пяти я буду нажравмшись.
3.3.4.Future Perfect Continuos (будущее завершено-длительное): By tomorrow morning I will have been vodknig for a term- к завтрашнему утру буду пить водку семестр.
3.3.5 Future in the Past(будущее в прошедшем): Would you vodka in the children garden?-Хотели бы вы пить белую в детском саду?

Hello, Dear English learners. In the first lines of this issue I would like to apologize for being away for so long. The fact is (1) I have been experimenting with a program called Dragon NaturallySpeaking version 8, (2) doing repairs to my room which now has laminate flooring (it feels so cool to tread on!).
Anyway I'm still alive and kicking, and now I'm ready to present issue 46 of English booster. For those of you who are new to this mailing: get out of here before it's too late.

Deadly word boost.

Before reading this story, make sure that you know the words below:

Cremated - to burn the body of a dead person at a funeral ceremony

Spot - to see or notice a person or thing, especially suddenly or when it is not easy to do so

Missing alive – Пропавшие без вести.

Strong-minded - not easily influenced by other people to change what you believe or want

Decomposed - rotten

Wander - walk or move in a leisurely or aimless way

Confirm - establish the truth or correctness of

Snr – Senior

Jnr - Junior

to jog one's memory - cause you to suddenly remember something that you had forgotten.

to blast - to criticize something very strongly

Rigorous - extremely thorough, exhaustive, or accurate.

Cremated' dad spotted on TV



A Manchester man spotted his father alive and well on TV - five years after his funeral.

John Renehan, 42, had the wrong man cremated after police said they found his missing dad's body, reports The Sun.

But then he caught a glimpse of 71-year-old John Delaney in a care home on BBC1 show Missing Live.

John Jnr said: "I was in shock. I have always tried to be strong-minded but to see who we thought we had cremated..."

His dad, who vanished in 2000, was declared dead in 2003 after cops found a decomposed body in similar clothes.

In reality he had lost his memory after a blow to the head and was found wandering around Oldham, Greater Manchester, weeks later.

John Snr was given the name David Harrison and put in a home. He still has amnesia but DNA confirmed his identity.

His son, of Didsbury, now spends every day with his dad hoping to jog his memory. He blasted police for "identifying" the body with no DNA test and wants compensation for funeral costs.

John Jnr added: "There is no silver lining. It would have been nice to have a proper conversation with my father."

Police apologised and said rigorous tests were now routine. They are trying to ID the stranger.


P.S. Архив рассылки можно найти тут http://enboost.ucoz.ru/

In case someone is interested in talking to his or her computer, here’s the link. I hope the comments to the post will be useful for you, too.

P.S. На сон грядущий, в порядке бреда, можно прочитать вот это.

This issue has been very cold, because we're still experiencing problems with central heating.

Advanced Reading
(compiled by Lena Zamokova, the moderatrix of Deadly English, based on the article from the Exile paper)

Newly Born, Fast Killed

Mmmm. Abandoned babies. In late October, railroad workers between electrichka stops Khotkovo and Sergiev-Posad found a newborn baby swathed in the towels that they give out at free policlinics. The forces of the Railroad UVD have already apprehended the devious duo responsible: the baby's mother and grandmother.

This wasn't the 22-year-old mother's first kid. After getting knocked up in 1998, she left her baby in the care of the state at some detdom in her hometown Vladimir. Perhaps once she saw what a mistake that ended up being, she decided to put her second child out of its misery.

She gave birth to a healthy baby girl at a Moscow clinic on October 22, with her mother by her side for moral support. Once they got the little bundle of joy home, they tossed her on the balcony and left her there to die. It was cold and all the neighbors' windows were shut, so no one could hear her scream. At some point that night, the baby died of hypothermia.

The next day, the mother and babushka stuffed the bundle into a plastic bag and jumped on an electrichka to Aleksandrov, where the mother used to live. However, the wagon was still full when they reached the station, so they decided to continue on. By the time they got to Sergiev-Posad, there was nobody on the train, and they discreetly tossed the frozen kid out the window and headed home.

Once getting home, they affected a mournful voice and called all their relatives telling them that the baby was born dead. They didn't cover their tracks well enough, though, and the militsia caught up to them within the week.

1.

2.

Find the words by their definitions


to wrap a piece of cloth around (a baby)

insincere and dishonest

make someone pregnant

secretly while no one was watching

to put on a show of

doleful , sorrowful


3.

Translate the following sentences into Russian

The forces of the Railroad UVD have already apprehended the devious duo responsible: the baby's mother and grandmother. Once they got the little bundle of joy home, they tossed her on the balcony and left her there to die. By the time they got to Sergiev-Posad, there was nobody on the train, and they discreetly tossed the frozen kid out the window and headed home.

Ok, ladies and gentlemen, it's supposed to get harder and harder day after day, night after night. What is meant by that, you wonder? The task I'm about to present herein. To effectively learn any vocabulary item so that it's stuck in your mind for further communication, you'd better learn it in context.

(Контекст это типа когда в речи или на письме в окружении других слов)

Моя бабуля говорит it's the best way to grab the English vocabulary by the balls. And believe me, when she says it's effective she means it!

Lorry driver had no hands

Вот этими словесами в беспорядке раскиданными, но с дефинициями, вам предстоит заменить русские слова в этом безжалостно безруком триллере.

1.

Handless — having no hands
2.

stumps - the short part of someone's leg, arm etc that remains after the rest of it has been cut off
3.

overloaded — loaded more than it's intended
4.

unadapted — not adapted
5.

permitted - allowed
6.

firecrackers - firework that makes several loud bangs when it is lit.
7.

leniency — not being strict in the way you punish someone or control their behaviour
8.

beverage company — compony producing and selling drinks (la bebida in Spanish)


Police who pulled up an перегруженный lorry in China were amazed to find the driver had no hands.
The lorry was stopped for carrying five times its разрешённый load of six tonnes, reports Bandao Metropolis News.
"When we came to the cab window, we were surprised to see the driver was безрукий," says a Jimo city traffic police spokesman.
The driver, Zhang, was handling the непредназначенный lorry with the обрубки on his wrists - and didn't even have a driving licence.
Zhang insists there is no problem with his driving, and that the only reason he has no licence is his disability. His hands were blown off by хлопушки when he was 12.
"I went to six driving schools, but none of them would take me as a student," he said. "I drive very well, and took part in racing games before."
After graduating from university, Zhang couldn't find a job because of his disability, so he opened a компанию по производству напитков y in Qingdao city.
He employs a driver to make deliveries - but sometimes had to stand in for him when he is absent because of illness.
Zhang asked for снисхождения from the police, who finally only gave him a £15 ticket. He risked a fine of up to £150 and 15 days in jail.
He has promised he will never drive again.


Запомню назло всем:

Don't mess with firecrackers when you're 12 or younger. (otherwise first this you'll be missing is the pleasure of mastur .... ой, это же English Booster!)

1) For a man to be able to fly like a bird, he would need to have a breastbone 2 metres long to hold the strong muscles necessary to give him the power to take off from the ground.
2) If a man could jump the same height as a flea, relative to its size, he could jump over St Paul's Cathedral.
3) If all the stars in the Milky Way had names, and if someone were to say the names one after the other, at the rate of one per second without stopping, it would take him 4,000 years.
4) If the entire history of the earth could be represented as a single day, our ancestors the cavemen would not appear until one minute before midnight.
5) If you lived on Mercury your birthday would come round every 88 days.


Запомню назло всем:

Условные предложения II типа.


Условие, содержащееся в условном придаточном предложении, рассматривается говорящим как маловероятное. Для выражения малой вероятности осуществления действия в настоящем или будущем временах сказуемое главного предложения употребляется в форме сослагательного наклонения should / would + Indefinite Infinitive без to, а сказуемое придаточного предложения – в форме сослагательного наклонения, аналогичной Past Indefinite или were для всех лиц от глагола to be.

If my father were dead, he wouldn't beat my mother anymore. Если бы мой батя был на том свете, он бы мамку не избивал.

If we paid more cash, they would give us some extra coke in addition to what we have already bought . Если бы мы заплатили больше налички, они в довесок накинули бы нам больше кокса на халяву.

ВНИМАНИЕ В ВЫПУСКЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ НЕЦЕНЗУРНАЯ ЛЕКСИКА НА РУССКОМ ЯЗЫКЕ !
Deadly Word UNBoost

All of the below is taken from the ENGLISHBAD community (livejournal). It's been specially sorted out and presented for the sake of showing that English can also be messed with. (I'd like to express my warmest gratitude to this community's members even if they call me a mean mo*** fu*** for using their ideas when they, by some fluke, see them here.)

fat trust – жиртрест

so as? - ну как?
but-but! - но-но! (лошади)
lavatorial water - туалетная вода
doctor's sausage - докторская колбаса
sunny kick - солнечный удар
stomachial - животное
pinnable - прикольно
floor member - пол. член
yes you what!? - да ты что!?
multi-purpose successive tire - универсальная последовательная шина (USB)
pass of a pork - свинопас
flying way out - летальный исход
not maybe! - не может быть!
father's verytable - папский престол
to salt for - насолить за что-либо
to vomit and throw - рвать и метать
to damage the air - портить воздух

erected entireness — поднятая целина

Pussy-cat — гнойная кошка

incompetent singing — недельный запой
beat-a-thief — воробей

nasal shawl — носовой платок

empty ring — пустозвон

self feeling — самочувствие
to drag a fool — валять дурака
to drink enough until little devils come — напиться до чертиков
это тупое сообщество — it's an obtuse assemblage
писать нет мочи — there's no urine to pee with

Can You hear me - Ты можешь меня здесь
Undressed custom model - Голая таможенная модель
Manicures - Деньги лечат
I'm just asking - Я всего лишь король жоп
I have been there - У меня там фасоль
God only knows - Единственный нос бога
We are the champions - Мы шампиньоны
Just in case - Только в портфеле
Oh dear - Ах, олень.
I saw my honey today - Я пилил мой мед сегодня
I'm going to make you mine - Я иду копать тебе шахту
Finnish people - Конченые люди
Phone seller - Позвони продавцу
Good products - Бог на стороне уток
Let's have a party - Давайте организуем партию
Watch out! - Посмотри снаружи!
Let it be! - Давайте жрать пчел!
Press space bar to continue - Космический бар прессы продолжает ..

это прекрасный глаз, дорогой - that's a wonderful idea

towerless — безбашенный

beat grandmothers - заколачивать бабки

cunt with ears — пи… с ушами

floor intelligence — полоумие
they lived-they were — жили-были

horseradish knows - хрен знает

Путин = PooTeen ~ какающий подросток

* poo - какать (англ.)
teen - подросток (англ.)

mail transfer disabled - доставка инвалида по почте

to overbuild smb — расстраивать кого-либо

a jolly leper — веселый проказник

to uncloud — разоблачать

he-like — оный

door about eat - дверной проем
along the news of Squirrels on - повести Белкина
swap awl for soap - меняй шило на мыло*
gun in the window - в окно дуло

Hour by hour doesn't lose weight - час от часу не легче

well, this is yes - вот это да

place estate - местоимение
under lying - подлежащее
behind the fifth – запятая

best man at a wedding - лучший мужчина на свадьбе

Remember the shit - this is it! Вспомнишь го…о - вот и оно! )))

simple gland — простата
not Nastya's day — ненастье

she's like a half of the evil — она сползла

honey examination — медосмотр

sick question — больной вопрос
on a lean end — на худой конец
to beat with key — бить ключом

toilet lock — запор в туалете

chalk drama — мелодрама
suffocatic — душистый
faggoties — голубцы
to moustachize — уссаться

undertale — подсказка

roll the lip - закатай губу

Can you hear me?.. -- Ты можешь меня здесь?...
некрасивый плащ – gowno

self fly – самолет

frombreathing - отдых
table b - столб
to open the centuries - открывать веки
I don't like co-cisterns - я не люблю собак

slim humor - тонкий юмор
thin hint - тонкий намек
his gut is too thick - у него кишка тонка
two pizza! - тупица!

knocker - стукач
picture all along silence - картинка по умолчанию

likewise - как умный

which one to eat! - какой есть!

Deadly Word Boost





1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

Advanced Reading
Amazing But Tру


1 The practice of burying the dead may date back 350,000 years, as evidenced by a 45-foot-deep pit in Atapuerca, Spain, filled with the fossils of 27 hominids of the species Homo heidelbergensis, a possible ancestor of Neanderthals and modern humans.

2 Never say die: There are at least 200 euphemisms for death, including "to be in Abraham's bosom," "just add maggots," and "sleep with the Tribbles" (a Star Trek favorite).

3 No American has died of old age since 1951.

4 That was the year the government eliminated that classification on death certificates.

5 The trigger of death, in all cases, is lack of oxygen. Its decline may prompt muscle spasms, or the "agonal phase," from the Greek word agon, or contest.

6 Within three days of death, the enzymes that once digested your dinner begin to eat you. Ruptured cells become food for living bacteria in the gut, which release enough noxious gas to bloat the body and force the eyes to bulge outward.

7 So much for recycling: Burials in America deposit 827,060 gallons of embalming fluid—formaldehyde, methanol, and ethanol—into the soil each year. Cremation pumps dioxins, hydrochloric acid, sulfur dioxide, and carbon dioxide into the air.

8 Alternatively . . . A Swedish company, Promessa, will freeze-dry your body in liquid nitrogen, pulverize it with high-frequency vibrations, and seal the resulting powder in a cornstarch coffin. They claim this "ecological burial" will decompose in 6 to 12 months.

9 Zoroastrians in India leave out the bodies of the dead to be consumed by vultures.

10 The vultures are now dying off after eating cattle carcasses dosed with diclofenac, an anti-inflammatory used to relieve fever in livestock.

11 Queen Victoria insisted on being buried with the bathrobe of her long-dead husband, Prince Albert, and a plaster cast of his hand.

12 If this doesn't work, we're trying in vitro! In Madagascar, families dig up the bones of dead relatives and parade them around the village in a ceremony called famadihana. The remains are then wrapped in a new shroud and reburied. The old shroud is given to a newly married, childless couple to cover the connubial bed.

13 During a railway expansion in Egypt in the 19th century, construction companies unearthed so many mummies that they used them as fuel for locomotives.

14 Well, yeah, there's a slight chance this could backfire: English philosopher Francis Bacon, a founder of the scientific method, died in 1626 of pneumonia after stuffing a chicken with snow to see if cold would preserve it.

15 For organs to form during embryonic development, some cells must commit suicide. Without such programmed cell death, we would all be born with webbed feet, like ducks.

16 Waiting to exhale: In 1907 a Massachusetts doctor conducted an experiment with a specially designed deathbed and reported that the human body lost 21 grams upon dying. This has been widely held as fact ever since. It's not.

17 Buried alive: In 19th-century Europe there was so much anecdotal evidence that living people were mistakenly declared dead that cadavers were laid out in "hospitals for the dead" while attendants awaited signs of putrefaction.

18 Eighty percent of people in the United States die in a hospital.

19 If you can't make it here . . . More people commit suicide in New York City than are murdered.

20 It is estimated that 100 billion people have died since humans began.

Повторение грамматических правил, которые так или иначе попадались и тут и там в рассылке с циничным названием English Booster. Каждое правило всегда было, есть и будет снабжено примером на закрепление.
Правило 1. Have something done употребляется, когда мы хотим сказать, что что-то было сделано за нас, мы не делали этого сами.
Пример: Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.

Правило 2. 1 дюйм = 2,54 см
Пример: Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.

Правило 3. Форма прошедшего времени глагола CAN - Could
Пример:Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.

Правило 4. Если два действия идут один за другим в прошлом, это называется succession и используется Past Simple в обоих случаях.
Пример: In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1inch.

Правило 5. В английском Passive Voice употребляется гораздо чаще, чем в русском.
Пример: The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

Правило 6. Спиртным лучше не увлекаться.
Пример: The most offensive drink is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt Pump'.

Правило 7. В превосходной степени к односложным прилагательным добавляй -est.
Пример: A German, Horst Schultz set the world record for the greatest distance a jet of semen could travel (18 ft 9). He achieved it with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also holds the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.

Правило 8. Passive Voice употребляется в английском гораздо чаще, чем вы думали.
Пример: The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.

Правило 9. Избегайте употребления could (правильнее managed to) для того, чтобы выразить, то, что у вас получилось однажды.
Пример: Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.

Запомню назло всем:

English Booster can definitely spoil your day.

Amazing But True

Advanced Reading
What To Do If An Anaconda Attacks You

Excerpt is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for volunteers working in the Amazon Jungle. It details what to do if an anaconda attacks you. Related to the boa constrictor (боа-констриктор), the anaconda is the largest snake species (вид) in the world. It grows to thirty-five feet in length and weighs 300 to 400 pounds.

1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.
2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another.
3. Tuck your chin in.
4. The snake will begin to nudge and climb over your body.
5. Do not panic.
6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet end - always from the feet end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic!
7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.
8. When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake's mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake's head.
9. Be sure you have your knife.
10. Be sure your knife is sharp.

Maggots found in man's head

Бугорки (шишки), кожа головы, личинки, овод, бежать по венам (о крови), организм-хозяин, питающий паразитов,


A US holidaymaker got a nasty surprise when he discovered the lumps on his scalp were live maggots.
Aaron Dallas, from Colorado, US, sought medical advice when the bumps appeared on his scalp after a trip to Belize.
But it was not until the bumps started moving that doctors realized Dallas had five live botfly maggots inside his head.

"I'd put my hand back there and feel them moving. I thought it was blood coursing through my head," said Dallas. "I could hear them. I actually thought I was going crazy."
Adult bot flies are larger and more aggressive than European flies. One type attacks livestock, deer and humans.
They rely on mosquitoes, stable flies, and other insects to carry their eggs to a host, which in this case was Dallas.
"It was weird and traumatic," said Dallas. "I would get this pain that would drop me to my knees."

Guess the word by its definition:

very shocking and upsetting, and causing psychological damage (adj.)
*

an opinion you give someone about what they should do (noun)
*

behaving in an angry, threatening way, as if you want to fight or attack someone (adj.)


Запомню назло всем:

Выражение have (got) a maggot in one's brain (или head) означает "быть человеком с причудами, иметь странные понятия


He's got a maggot in his brain on everything connected with art . — Он имеет самое странное понятие обо всем, что связано с искусством.


Вот ещё парочка значений из нового словарика Lingvo x3:

1.

Can I bum a maggot off of you? — Можно у тебя стрельнуть сигарету?
2.

He took a mighty drag on her cigarette, then snapped the maggot over the rail — Он глубоко затянулся ее сигаретой и швырнул окурок через перила
3.

Only a maggot would do something like that — На такое способен только настоящий подонок
4.

You maggot! Keep your lousy hands to yourself — Козел! Что лезешь со своими погаными руками?

FRIENDLY WARNING !!!
Today's issue of English Booster should be read and studied to Riahna's megahit "Unfaithful" !!!



Употребление.

Past Perfect обозначает действие, законченное до определённого момента в прошлом или до начала другого действия в прошлом.

He had severely mutilated our neighbour's body … when I came.

… by 3 o'clock yesterday.

… before she arrived home.

Он с особой жестокостью обезобразил (уже обезобразил) тело нашего соседа … когда я пришёл.

… вчера к 3-м часам.

… до того, как она приехала домой.

They went home after they had packed up all the cocaine . Они пошли домой после того, как упаковали (спрятали) весь кокаин.


Важно помнить, что Past Perfect употребляется в тексте для того, чтобы показать, что что-то произошло или было сделано раньше чего-то в прошлом.


Deadly Word Boost
Найдите в тексте предложения, в которых употреблено время Past Perfect и переведите их. (если, конечно, не устанете от имен китайских в начале статьи.)

Make sure you undertand these words before you start reading this article:

oath - a formal promise, especially a promise to be loyal to a person or country.

unfaithful – adulterous

suspicious - thinking that someone might be guilty of doing something wrong or dishonest, without being sure

bathhouse – китайская баня!!! (new!!!)

pellet - a small ball of paper, mud, lead, or other material

nudge – to push gently

Faling to notice ... - не заметив

feud - a quarrel in which two people or groups remain angry with each other for a long time, although they are not always fighting or arguing.

funeral banquet – банкет в честь умершего


Kiss of Death

Xia (or Xin) Xinfeng, from Maolou in the central Chinese province of Henan, has been sentenced to death for killing Mao Ansheng, her childhood sweetheart, with a kiss.


They had sworn an oath that if either were unfaithful, they would have to die. Xia took action when she saw her man talking to a woman in a way that made her suspicious. They had arranged to meet the next day at a public bathhouse. She filled a plastic pellet with rat poison, hid it under her tongue, and while they were kissing, nudged it into his mouth. Failing to notice, Mao swallowed it and died shortly afterwards.

Rat poison is one of the commonest methods of murder and suicide in China. One variety, dushuqiang, was banned three years ago. A widow had used it to kill 10 guests, with whom she had been engaged in a feud, at her husband's funeral banquet.


Запомню назло всем:

Past Perfect нужно употреблять осторожно! И не в коем случае не целовать свою возлюленную и, не дай Бог, её маму не убедившись, что у них нет шариков с ядом под языком!

Issue 35 – Больные Люди
Deadly Word Boost
Sisters keep dead mum in fridge - for ten years

Гробовщик, сотрудник похоронного бюро

Раскошеливаться (выкладывать деньги) (2 фразовых глагола)

хранить в холодной заморозке

похоронное бюро

церковь при похоронном бюро

неестественный, ненормальный, причудливый, странный, эксцентричный

Это вызывает опасения.

Вскрытие показало ...

закупорка кровеносного сосуда

полученные данные, добытые сведения

сгнивать

бальзамирование



Two sisters have kept their dead mother in an undertaker's fridge for ten years - so they can visit her every weekend.

Josephine and Valmai Lamas could not bear to bury mum Annie after she died in 1997, aged 84.
Instead, they have shelled out more than £13,000 to keep her in cold storage at a funeral parlour.
Josephine, 59, of Chiswick, West London, and Valmai, 52, of nearby Harrow, make separate weekly visits to sit with Annie in the parlour's chapel.

The Sun quoted a family source as saying: "Enough is enough... They don't seem to think what they're doing is in any way bizarre. But it's disturbing."

A post mortem examination revealed Annie died from an embolism but the sisters were unhappy with the findings.

They have paid £20 a week to keep Annie in the fridge at undertakers G Saville & Sons of Wembley, North West London.

They have also coughed up more than £2,000 on five wooden coffins - as four have rotted away over the years. And a further £800 has been spent on make-up.
Funeral director Phillip Saville said: "There are no laws saying people can't keep a corpse for years after registering the death, though it is normal to bury the body after just two weeks."
Valmai would say only: "I have always been a very private person and I am not interested in discussing any issues of my life."



Запомню назло всем:

Фразовые глаголы, передающие значение "отдвать бабло, раскошеливаться, спускать лаве".


Shell out - How much have you shelled out for this car? (отдаем горы бабок по собственному желанию)

Cough up – You'll have to cough up quite a sum to be let in. (отдаём горы бабок нехотя)

Fork up (out) – Don't expect me to fork up out of pity. Sue me first. (тоже, что и cough up)


Задание:


В этом выпуске вы познакомились с фразовыми глаголами, означающими процесс "раскошеливания". Скажите, отличается ли от них по значению глагол waste away?

Deadly Word Boost
For each news item find a suitable title. Mind there’s one odd title which I’ve made up to complicate the whole thing.
A. No Fun for Scottish Addicts
B. The Old World Ways Meet Modern Law
C. GIVE 'EM THEIR DOO
D. D.Bill of a Robber
E. Seemed Brilliant At The Time
F. "Warning! No walking into walls. They will not move for you"
G. 90 per cent of all male chatters are pedophiles
H. It Was A Pleasure Having You Stay At Our Hotel, NOT!

1) A 17-year-old Amish boy was charged with Driving Under the Influence, reckless operation, and underage drinking when he ran his horse and buggy into a police car.

2) Complete with mask and gun, a Dresden, Germany, man entered a building that used to be a bank and left only after people finally convinced him that they didn't work in a bank, according to police.

3) A man sneaked past security at SeaWorld in Florida, hid in the park until after closing, jumped into the Killer Whale tank where the 5 ton killer whales lives, and drowned after suffering hypothermia. He was wearing only his underwear. The man's parents sued the park for "several million dollars" because the park didn't post a sign warning people that jumping into a tank of 50 degree F water with a 5-ton killer whale could cause injury.

4) An Egyptian olive merchant tried selling green olives as the more expensive black olives by dying the green olives black using shoe polish, according to police who confiscated 15 tons of dyed black olives.

5) A woman who took a dip in a hotel pool panicked when she couldn't find her gold wedding ring. So, staff put on snorkels and dived in, finding nothing. They then emptied the thousands of gallons of water from the pool, still finding nothing, according to the embarrassed woman who found her ring later at home next to her telephone.

6. The Scottish Daily Record reported that a bungling drug smuggler ended up trading $4.25 million worth of cocaine for an elderly woman's undies. He had picked up the wrong bag from the airport conveyor and left behind what turned out to be the largest seizure of illegal drugs in Scotland's history.

7) In Laohekou, China, a man on a motorcycle pulled up in front of a woman standing outside a bank with a bag in her hands, grabbed the bag and took off. It turned out that the bag contained dog poo (the woman had just picked up after her dog).

Find synonyms to the following words in the text:

1) To exchange
2) To strike a deal
3) Shocked, surprised
4) Lucrative


A Bulgarian farmer has swapped his wife for a goat - because she couldn't give him kids. Stoil Panayotov exchanged his third wife with Elena the eight-year-old goat at a livestock market, reports the Daily Telegraph. The extraordinary deal was concluded in front of a stunned crowd in the market town of Plovdiv, central Bulgaria. "The day before a friend told me that he has had no luck with women and that he really liked my wife," says the 54-year-old. "The deal was reached when my wife gave her approval. The goat has given birth to three kids and my wife to none. "So this deal was more profitable to the goat owner, I got a second-hand goat and he got a brand new wife."

Запомню назло всем:
If you swap something with someone, you give it to them and receive a different thing in exchange.

- Let’s swap places.
- Aha. Now you wanna swap places. Next time you wanna swap wives?

Deadly Word Boost

1.высшие силы 2.охотится на 3.на первый взгляд 4.работающий в дневную смену
5.подмаренник цепкий (;)) 6.резко оборвалась 7.неясный, смутный 8.чётко выражать ( свои мысли) 9.воодушевлён 10.тонкости (зд.) 11.не уточнять, не вдаваться в детали




The Korneyev family had problems. They didn’t know it yet, but powers on high were out to get the seemingly functional family. Daddy was a day-shift security guard at the Zelenograd branch of Mosstroibank, while the missus was one of the few housewives in Russia. With their fourteen-year-old daughter, they seemed like a Russian version of the Cleavers in a one-bedroom apartment.

The idyllic family life all came to an abrupt end two weekends ago when a 40-year-old man, who claimed to be hearing voices, murdered all three. The details are still a bithazy (=vague) , as the murderer has been having trouble articulating what exactly who the voices were, what they commanded him to do and how he did it.

The last time anyone from the family was seen was Friday afternoon, when the husband left work. Nothing was reported until Monday morning, when an anonymous tip to the local militsia reported that there had been a murder in their apartment.

Apparently, the killer, a construction worker, was a long-time acquaintance of the family. Some time over the weekend he stopped by for a visit. The wife opened the door and he wasted no time explaining the purpose of his visit. Perhaps he figured they had heard the same voices? He shot her in the head and then shot the husband as he slept. Finally, he turned the pistol on the daughter and took her out, too.
Since he was divinely inspired, he didn’t pay much attention to subtlety. He didn’t bother trying to hide the corpses or clean up at all. He simply turned around and left the site of the crime, ditching his gun on the way out.

When the cops apprehended him several days later, he gave up without a fight. He didn’telaborate on what else the voices told him to do, although he suggested that this action might help him get in Jody Foster’s good graces.

Запомню назло всем:

An interesting word: DITCH (as a verb, spoken)

If you ditch something that you have or are responsible for, you abandon it or get rid of it, because you no longer want it. (INFORMAL) I decided to ditch the sofa bed. = dump

If someone ditches someone, they end a relationship with that person.(INFORMAL) I can’t bring myself to ditch him and start again. Julie's ditched her boyfriend.= dump

Deadly Word Boost

A 54-year-old man living alone with his 73-year-old mother isn't as unusual in Russia as it probably should be. But this pair was something else entirely. According to neighbors, they didn't just live together, they did everything together. Contrary to the standard acrimonious relationship, these two were thick as thieves. They were often seen together in stores, consulting each other about what products to buy; they went to church together; they even made a pilgrimage to Greece. By all accounts, they were inseparable. It no doubt made it easier to share their one-room apartment on ul. Mikhailova.

Their relationship first blossomed several years ago, when the man's wife kicked him out of their apartment when he couldn't quit drinking. But it turns out he just needed the fear of God instilled in him. After he moved in with his mother, he quickly found God and quit the bottle. Five years ago he took his last drink, and devoted himself to serving God.

Not long ago, God started telling this man that he was Chosen for a mission. He was already prone (=having a tendency to be affected by or do something) to fanaticism, and ready to take it up a notch. On the morning of March 24, at about 7, God finally made clear his Plan. The man was to kill his mother, or, in the words of the Almighty, "Finish what has begun." The man, not wanting to seem like an ingrate, proceeded to beat his mother to death.

Now he's being held while the doctors access his competency to stand trial. According to Moskovsky Komsomolets, some philistines doubt he actually heard the voice of God. However, this guy knew the lesson of the Jonah story: there is no running from divine orders--or schizophrenia.

Try to remember these 10 as you know 10 Commandments:

1.желчный ( о характере ); саркастический, язвительный
2.≈ водой не разольёшь
3.совершать паломничество
4.по общим отзывам
5.внушать; вселять (надежду, страх)
6.склонный, предрасположенный (к чему-либо)
7.перенести на новый уровень (выше)
8.неблагодарный человек
9.оцентить, способен ли человек … (выявить)
10.обыватели, мирские люди

Frozen Solid

(taken from theExile.ru solely for educational purposes)




бутик, по-старому, заставляет вновь поверить, возвращать к чему-то, белая горячка, как скелет, без остановки (устали), "дозаправка" ( дополнительная порция), бухло (бухалово) 



 Just when you start to worry that
Moscow's turning into another boutique town, along comes a
crime so old-school horrible that it restores your
faith in inhumanity. Last January, Moscow showed it still generates stories
that hark back to the bad old days, when winters really did kill.



It's New Year's Eve in a twelve-story building on Dubininskaya Street where three-year-old
Denis lives with his mother. His Mama, Natasha, is 31 going on delirium
tremens. She devotes her every waking hour to staying as drunk as possible
and doesn't have much left over for the boy, who's skeletally
thin and so neglected that he hasn't even begun to learn to talk. He criesincessantly instead.
Mama has a guest, Sasha, a 50-year-old drunk who's just been thrown
out of his apartment by his wife. Mama and Sasha drink until the
vodka runs out. Natasha decides to go out for a refill. She tells
Sasha to stay and watch out for Denis--and to make sure he does she locks the
old man inside.



But you can't keep a good drunk down, or rather upstairs. When Natasha doesn't
come backpronto, Sasha improvises a rope out of sheets, ties it to the
radiator and climbs down to the street. Intent on the search for more booze,
he forgets to close the window behind him.



Denis has one item of clothing, a fluffy jacket. It was a very
cold January in Moscow.
They don't manage to force the apartment door open until January 3, after the
neighbors have called everyone they can think of and tried getting in on their
own. Denis is lying on the sofa, frozen solid. 



Find the following words and word combinations in the article you've read.


- a small shop that
sells fashionable clothes, shoes, or jewellery

- characteristic or evocative of an earlier or original style, manner, or form

- to make faith return to its former level or condition

- to return (to an earlier subject in speech or thought)

- a severe condition characterized by delirium and trembling, caused by chronic
alcoholism

- continuing without stopping (often in an annoying way)

- another drink to refill your glass

- quickly

- alcoholic drink. (INFORMAL)

- made of or covered with something soft and light, such as wool, hair or
feathers in a physical state in which it resists changes in size and shape


 


Dear English Learners,


      Доунт форгет зэт ай ныд ёр фидбэк… соу зэт ай куд мэйк инглиш
бустер мор еджукейшэнал.  Any
kind of feedback is appreciated!


   Терпеть не можешь эту рассылку? Читаешь её с отвращением? Однако уверен, что должен
продолжать изучение английского языка? Выплесни весь негатив/позитив в самом
нездоровом сообществе рунета DEADLY ENGLISH!

Advanced Reading
Deadly Word Boost + Amazing But Тру
2-in-1
1. FACT (taken from www.amusingfacts.com. Thanks, Gauher) Read the fact, find the words by it's definition, learn the words. Give a Summary of the article.

Over 40 million Americans have chronic bad breath.


Halitosis is nothing new. Man has suffered from it since the beginning of time, despite the development of such beauty/hygiene products as mouthwashes. While those give temporary relief, at least to the people around you, they don't really have the ability to cure the problem.

The vast majority of bad breath problems originate in the mouth, and are related to bacteria, as opposed to what you ate last.
Conditions such as hunger breath or menstrual breath, are related to chemicals from the pancreas entering the stomach during fasting, and hormonal fluctuations, respectively. Both can be alleviated with mouthwashes temporarily, and in the case of hunger breath, by eating.

Some diseases and conditions of your organs are occasionally responsible for halitosis, including diabetes, which produces a sweet ketone smell; liver failure, which gives off a sweet/musty odor; or kidney failure which can produce an ammonia or urine
smell.

By far and large, bad breath is due to the millions of bacteria that live in our mouths, the decaying results of meals, and snacks. Saliva that flows through our mouth during the day, helps to remove some of it, but a great deal remains, which makes flossing and thorough brushing of the teeth imperative, not only for fresh breath, but also dental health. The reason
you have "morning breath", is that during the night your production of saliva is slowed, and the bacteria build up in your mouth. The odor will disappear as soon as you rinse your mouth.

Approximately 65% of Americans are said to have bad breath, with some 40% suffering what qualifies as chronic halitosis. Fighting it off, makes sales of halitosis-related products hit a billion dollars a year.


Task I Find the words by their definitions
1. smelling bad (formal)
2. a condition in which someone's breath smells very bad
3. the practice of keeping your body clean
4. lasting for only a limited period of time
5. to make someone who is ill well again, to remove a problem, or improve a bad situation
6. to make something less painful or difficult
7. a smell, especially an unpleasant one

Task II Translate the following sentences into Russian
By far and large, bad breath is due to the millions of bacteria that live in our mouths, the decaying results of meals, and snacks. Saliva that flows through our mouth during the day, helps to remove some of it, but a great deal remains, which makes flossing and thorough brushing of the teeth imperative, not only for fresh breath, but also dental health.

Dear English Learners, прочитайте этот замечательный анекдот и если вы не улыбнётесь после прочтения оного, тогда вы ничего не знаете об игре слов, и как следствие вряд ли будете смеяться над большинством английских анекдотов.

Amazing But True
Raven-haired - having shiny black hair
Go flat – сдуваться
proceed to do smth – приступать
wheel cover - колпак колеса

The limousine was taking the beautiful, raven-haired model to the airport. Halfway there, the front tire went flat.
The model said, "Driver, I don't have time to wait for road service. Can you change it yourself?"
The driver said, "Sure." He got out of the car and proceeded to change the tire, but couldn't get the wheel cover off.
The model saw him struggling and asked, "Do you want a screwdriver?"
He said "Sure! But, first I have to change this tire."

P.S. Have a go at these three. (Если первый не смешной)
***
Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job." The second woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!" To which the first replies, "Whoa I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"
***
A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great... some asshole's got my pen."
***
And my favourite one:
Two condoms walking past a gay bar.
One turns to the other and says "Wanna go get shit faced?"

Для того, чтобы удачно пересказать любой текст, можно воспользоваться до боли простым приёмом – составление плана. Апробируем данную технику на следующем тексте.


1. Ways to off yourself.
2. The prospective suicidal Elena.
3. Atempt 1 – Metro Diving
4. Attempt 2 – Khrushevka Leaping
5. Attempt 3 – Batman Style.



(taken from theExile.ru solely for educational purposes)

Буквально, прыжок, высоковольтный фен, глоток водки, не подходить под понятие, попытка самоубийства, вскрытие вен, не одобрять, шрамы.

Conventional wisdom has it that anyone who tries to kill themselves and fails didn't really want to die. There are numbers of ways that are virtually guaranteed to get the job done right. There's a shotgun or high caliber pistol to the head, jumping in front of a speeding train, leaping from a 14-story building, taking a bath with a high voltage hair dryer. But a few Dramamine ("Драмамин" Товарный знак таблеток, принимаемых при тошноте, рвоте, симптомах морской болезни) with a shot of vodka doesn't qualify as a suicide attempt. As for wrist slitting, this method is much frowned upon because people generally do this because they like scars.

Попытки, божественное вмешательство, стопроцентно успешный (безпроигрышный), уделать себя, хотя (и),

However, every once in a while someone comes around that can't get the job done despite their best efforts. Whether because of divine intervention or just bad luck, sometimes even surefire methods fail. Take 41-year-old Muscovite Elena. She's tried three times to do herself in, and yet she's still breathing, albeit with the help of a respirator.

без малейшей царапины (без малейшего вреда для себя), прыгнуть, с удовольствием, впадина (углубление), взбешена, ринуться, третий рельс

Her first attempt, while noble, left her without a scratch. About ten years ago, Elena flung herself in front of a Metro train as it entered a station. Unfortunately, she jumped with a little too much gusto and landed in the depression made for anyone who finds themselves on the tracks when a train is approaching. Apparently, she was so rattled by her failure that she forgot to lunge for the third rail (an extra rail from which an electric train picks up current by means of a sliding collector to feed power to its motors), which is also an effective life-ender.
The next attempt, last year, she jumped out of her apartment window. However, the apartment was only on the fourth floor, and she lived to see another day.

делать более изящным( утончённым, изысканным), безумно (неистово, яростно), распластанная, переломы, прибавьте к этому,

On May 7, she decided to refine her technique a little. This time, she went up to the 14th floor at 16 Belomorskaya ul. and jumped. She jumped in the early morning, and no one in the building heard the crash as she landed on an Audi 100 parked below. There she lay until her father, realizing that she wasn't home, frantically searched the building for signs of her. He found an open window on the 14th floor and, looking out, saw his daughter splattered on the car below.
He called the militsia and they found that she was still breathing, in spite of multiple fractures. Chalk it up to the Audi's excellent shocks. She was rushed off to City Hospital 81, where she is now in critical condition.



Conventional wisdom has it that … – Традиционно считается (народная мудрость гласит… lol), что …
Rumor has it that … – Ходят слухи, что
Legend has it that … - По легенде, …

Rumor has it, he’s like kicked the bucket. – Ходят слухи, что он типа как окочурился.

Read the story, then do the multiple choice test after it.

If you get off, you leave a place because it is time to leave.
If something wastes away, it becomes extremely thin or weak.
Eventually – finally, at last
jogging bottoms – tights someone wears for jogging
Initially means soon after the beginning of a process or situation, rather than in the middle or at the end of it.
Convince - If someone or something convinces you to do something, they persuade you to do it.
If someone mistreats a person or an animal, they treat them badly, especially by making them suffer physically.
When the police charge someone, they formally accuse them of having done something illegal.



A US woman refused to get off her boyfriend's toilet for two years.
Her legs wasted away and her skin grew around the seat.
Her boyfriend brought her food and water every day and asked if she was coming out of the bathroom but she would reply: "Maybe tomorrow."
He eventually called in police, who found the 35-year-old woman with her jogging bottoms pulled down to mid-thigh.
She initially refused to leave but was convinced to do so by police. The seat had to be cut away from her body in hospital.
Sheriff Bryan Whipple said: "She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just stuck by her body."
Police may charge the boyfriend, 36, with mistreating her but he claims she just didn't want to leave.
The unnamed woman, of Ness City, Kansas, refuses to talk to investigators. Neighbour James Ellis said she had a tough childhood after her mum died.


Why did the boy call in police?
a. He grew sick and tired of having to pee and defecate into the bath tub.
b. He wanted to clean the loo because it smelled like hell.
c. He was worrying about the girl.

What did the police see when they arrived at the scene?
a. The girl was stuck to the toilet seat.
b. The boy dressed as Elvis was entertaining the girl by singing "Only you".
c. The boy was showing the sitting girl her old family albums.

Запомню назло всем:
Have something done употребляется, когда мы хотим сказать, что что-то было сделано за нас, мы не делали этого сами.
- Jane buried her husband. (=Джейн похоронила своего мужа сама)
- Jane had her husband buried. (=Кто-то другой похоронил его для нее)

Иногда Have something done употребляется для того, чтобы показать что что-то (обычно неприятное) случилось с кем-то, с чем-то. Прочитайте статью и поймёте.



Be run over – быть сбитым машиной
Pal – кореш
vehicle - транспортное средство
to panic - впадать в панику
witness - свидетель, очевидец
he's expected to … – ожидается, что он…
drive off – уехать



An Austrian teenager was run over by a tractor twice - once when he fell off and again when his friend drove back to see where he was.
Hubert Hochstetter, 17, from the village of Kainisch, fell off the tractor as he and his 22-year-old friend Josef Mittringer were driving along the road.
He fell under the back wheels of the three-ton vehicle and had his ribs and arms broken.
But his pal Mittringer who could not see his friend lying behind his back wheels reversed to look where he was, and in doing so ran him over again, this time breaking his legs.
Mittringer panicked when he saw what had happened and drove off. But witnesses called an ambulance and the teenager was treated in hospital.
Doctors said that he will be in hospital for weeks but he's expected to make a full recovery.

Внимание! Конкурс! Перед тем как ребята уехали на тракторе, мама Хуберта пожелала сыну "Break a leg!". Неужели она настолько злая? А может быть она имела в виду что-то другое?

Intermediate
Deadly Grammar Boost
Сегодня задание будет самым заурядным! Open the brackets and use the verb in the right tense form. (Hint: there’s an answer key after the article)

Woman stabbed husband for refusing sex

An Argentinian woman has been arrested for stabbing her husband because he (not have) sex with her.
The 52-year-old, from Buenos Aires, (stab) her husband in the back but he (be not) seriously injured.
She police she (spend) the day trying to get him into bed but he (ignore) all of her hints.
The woman (say): "I (wear) a G-string and high heels in the house but he (not notice), I could not stand this.
"I got really mad and I stabbed him."
The husband (go) to the police station to lodge a complaint before going to hospital where he (be treated) for minor injuries.
A police spokesperson (say): "She did not think she did anything wrong, she (keep) saying that he was her husband and that he (have to) fulfill his obligations and that because he didn't she had the right to punish him."


KEY
did not have sex, stabbed, was not, told, had spent, had ignored, said, wore, did not notice, went, was treated, said, kept, had to

Повторение: Present Perfect
Образование.
Present Perfect образуется при помощи глагола to have в Present Indefinite и Participle II (Причастия II) смыслового глагола.
I have watched the Privat channel for years.
Я смотрю телеканал "Приват" уже многие годы.

Present Perfect употребляется:
1. Для выражения действия, завершившегося к моменту речи. Время действия не указывается, важен сам факт совершения действия к настоящему моменту или его результат.
• She has deleted 4 Gigs of porn from my computer.
Она удалила 4 гектара порно с моего компа.
(Действие завершено к моменту речи.)

В этом значении Present Perfect часто употребляется с наречиями just – только что, already – уже, yet – ещё, lately – недавно, of late – в последнее время, recently – недавно.
• I’ve just kicked her butt for that. (Я только что отвесил ей за это пендаля.)

2. Для выражения действия, которое завершилось, но тот период, в котором оно происходило, ещё продолжается и может быть обозначен обстоятельствами времени today – сегодня, this week – на этой неделе, this month – в этом месяце, this century – в нашем веке и др.
I have downloaded lots of excellent Asian porn this month.
Я в этом месяце скачал много первоклассного порно.

3. Для выражения действия, которое началось в прошлом и продолжается до настоящего времени.
I have known him all my life. Я знаю его всю жизнь.
I have known him for 2 years. Я знаю его 2 года.
But I haven’t seen him since January. Он не видел своих родителей с января.

4. Present Perfect может употребляться с наречиями always – всегда, often – часто, seldom – редко, ever – когда-нибудь, never – никогда.
• She has never been to Germany. Она никогда не была в Германии.
• Have you ever been to Germany? Вы когда-нибудь были в Германии?

Прочитайте эту крайне поучительную статью и переведите предложения с Present Perfect. (если конечно захотите)


to design – конструировать
prized – драгоценный
mag – журнал
leave behind – оставлять после себя
lined with red satin – обитый сатином



A Russian pensioner has designed his own coffin to include space for his prized collection of porn mags.
Vladimir Villisov decided to have a special coffin made after surviving a heart attack and realising he did not want to leave the magazines behind.
"The girls in those magazines have been my companions for years, and I want them to accompany me to the next life," said the unmarried 65-year-old from Mramorskoe.
He added that he even sometimes lies in his coffin, lined with red satin, to read his top shelf material.

divorce – разводиться
a mistress - любовница (OLD-FASHIONED)
voluntary - добровольный

A German woman, aged 83, has divorced her 81-year-old husband after 60 years of marriage because he was caught having sex with his mistress at work.
George Meister met his lover, who is 30 years his junior, while doing voluntary work at an animal breeding centre.

quickie - нечто, сделанное быстро
pull the curtains – задёрнуть занавески
expose - делать видимым, обнажать; показывать, выставлять на показ
antics - нелепые выходки

The affair was exposed when they forgot to pull the curtains while having a 'quickie' in one of the centre's offices.
His wife Ruth who was told about her husband's antics threw him out of their home and he has now moved in with his younger lover who lives just two doors down the road.

Allied bombs = бомбардировка союзных сил
Exist - существовать

The divorce court heard the couple had met over 60 years ago as Allied bombs fell on Bonn and have since raised three children together.
Mrs Meister said: "I had a good husband and he was a good father but that man does not exist any more.
"It's a sad end for us, but I showed no mercy. I just threw him out. I see them kissing on the streets and it is disgusting."

Arrange the four paragraphs in the right order (the article starts with D ). If you do it correctly, you should get a four-letter word which means a person who behaves very awkwardly in social situations or simply a stupid person.


(D) A German man who was mugged in a night club was mugged again two more times while waiting for the police.
(K) As he leaned back against the wall to recover, another five men approached him and again threatened him, stealing his jacket and the last of the small change.
(R) He called police from outside the club using a friend's mobile, but while he waited for them to arrive he was approached by three other men, who stole his watch and cigarettes.
(O)Reiner Hamer, 27, from Oberhausen, lost his wallet containing £120 and his mobile phone when three men attacked him in the toilet of his local night club.

Bear in mind:
Обратите внимание на образование Past Simple следующих глаголов:

to mug (mugged) - to attack someone and rob them in a public place
to recover (recovered) - to get better after an illness, accident, shock
to steal (stole) - to take something that belongs to someone else

Deadly Word Boost


Find the following English words in the story:

Надеяться, книги рекордов, развивать, вкус, утверждать, любовь, уверен в том, что, страх,

An Indian man hopes to get his name in the record books by eating 50 cockroaches in a minute.
Ramesh Kumar, from the southern city of Coimbatore, says he has eaten cockroaches since childhood.
He says he has developed a taste for the pests and also claims a fondness for other insects and lizards.
The goldsmith told Asian News International the current cockroach eating record was 36 in a minute but he was confident of eating 50.
He said: "I do not have any kind of fear from them. One day I tried to taste a cockroach and I liked it very much and thought of making a record by it."
The 26-year-old is also planning to stay in a glass case filled with 25,000 cockroaches for three days.


P.S. The 26-year-old is also planning to stay in a glass case filled with 25,000 cockroaches for three days. – А о чём мечтаете вы?

Oh, Dear English Learners. I’m blushing. Oh… sorry… can’t comment on this issue… well, I’m listening to … music!



Invent – изобретать
Passionate – страстный
Determine – определять
Electrocute – убивать электрическим током, бить током

A musical condom has been invented that gets louder as the sex gets more passionate.
Different sexual positions determine what tune is played by the condom.
The contraceptive has tiny sensors connected to a mini electronic device that produces the sounds.
Ukrainian inventor Dr Grigoriy Chausovskiy said: "There is no danger of being electrocuted."
They will cost 20 per cent more than normal condoms. "But people will pay for the extra stimulation," he added.

If you notice this notice,
you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.
Deadly Word Boost
What’s up, dear English learners? Today we present 10 easy-to-pronounce tongue twisters. Have a go at these:

Number 1
If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor
who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the
doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor
the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

Number 2
If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
It's slick to stick a lock upon your stock,
Or some stickler who is slicker
Will stick you of your liquor
If you fail to lock your liquor
With a lock!

Number 3
A Tudor who tooted a flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to their tutor,
"Is it harder to toot
or to tutor two tooters to toot?"
Number 4
A twister of twists once twisted a twist;
A twist that he twisted was a three-twisted twist;
If in twisting a twist one twist should untwist,
The untwisted twist would untwist the twist.
Number 5
How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies?
A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.
Number 6
I need not your needles, they're needless to me;
For kneading of noodles, 'twere needless, you see;
But did my neat knickers but need to be kneed,
I then should have need of your needles indeed.
Number 7
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
Number 8
There was a young fisher named Fischer
Who fished for a fish in a fissure.
The fish with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in;
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fischer.
Number 9
You've no need to light a night-light
On a light night like tonight,
For a night-light's light's a slight light,
And tonight's a night that's light.
When a night's light, like tonight's light,
It is really not quite right
To light night-lights with their slight lights
On a light night like tonight.
Number 10 - Oops
Theophiles Thistle, the successful thistle-sifter,
in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,
thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb.
Now.....if Theophiles Thistle, the successful thistle-sifter,
in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,
thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb,
see that thou, in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,
thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.
Success to the successful thistle-sifter!



Задание только для русскоговорящих
If you translate the following word combinations into Russian, you’ll find they are devoid of meaning. So what do they all mean?

1. More Doe Boy
2. Bar Duck
3. Poop Sick
4. Poo Poke
5. Score Tinner
6. Pre Duo Rock
7. Pod Looker
8. Swallow Chew Gar
9. Dirt Dome
10. Dead Skip Latch
11. Knee Moo Sorry!

For those who’ve been unable to solve this language riddle, here are English clues!

1. fisticuffs
2. terrible mess
3. sweetie
4. navel
5. brute, cattle
6. jerk
7. a mean person
8. dirty scum, generally a bad guy
9. an asylum
10. baby’s crying
11. Do not litter!

Dear English Learners,
Доунт форгет зэт ай ныд ёр фидбэк… соу зэт ай куд мэйк инглиш бустер мор еджукейшэнал. Any kind of feedback is appreciated!
Терпеть не можешь эту рассылку? Читаешь её с отвращением? Однако уверен, что должен продолжать изучение английского языка? Выплесни весь негатив/позитив в самом нездоровом сообществе рунета DEADLY ENGLISH!


Issue 18 – Гигиена прежде всего!
Smelly Grammar Boost
Сегодня, dear English learners, мы поговорим о времени Past Simple (или, как его ещё называют, Indefinite).
Past Simple обозначает действие, произошедшее в прошлом; последовательно произошедшие в прошлом действия; повторяющиеся действия в прошлом.
Образование.
Past Simple правильных глаголов образуется прибавлением суффикса –ed к основе глагола. Форме Past Simple неправильных глаголов соответствует II форма глагола в соответствующих глагольных рядах, приводимых в специальных таблицах, которые обычно приводятся в конце любого учебника английской грамматики.

Now that you’ve read all of the meaningful something above, I suggest you do the following tasks:
1. Найдите в этой познавательной статье все глаголы в Past Simple.
2. Обратите внимание на неправильные глаголы.

Слова, которые помогут Вам прочитать это текст побыстрее!
тошнотворный, вызывать (влечь за собой, разжигать), гниющий, вонь,

Smelly feet spark police raid

A man's smelly feet sparked a police raid in Germany after neighbours reported the smell of a rotting body.
Police who broke into the home of Johannes Helmut, 41, in Kaiserslautern, found him asleep in bed.
Neighbours, who had not seen him for a week, believed he had died because of the smell.
But police said the "nauseous stench" was found to be coming from his feet and a pile of unwashed socks.

Deadly Grammar-Lexical Boost
Hello, dear English learners. Today’s issue is about something that you won’t find in Russian – THE GERUND
Запомню назло всем!


Герундий имеет свойства как глагола, так и существительного. Подобной неличной формы в русском языке нет. Как существительное он может выполнять в предложении функции подлежащего, дополнения, определения и обстоятельства с предлогом. Как глагол может иметь после себя прямое дополнение и определяться наречием, иметь перфектную форму, категорию залога, а также выражать действие как процесс.
Герундий образуется от основы глагола с помощью суффикса –ing.

To translate – translating, to read – reading.
И имеет 4 формы

He likes taking pills with his whiskey. Он любит глотать таблетки с виски.
She likes being nailed to the cross like a Christ. Он любит, когда его, как Христа, прибивают гвоздями к кресту.
Перфектные формы герундия (Perfect Gerund) обозначают действия, предшествующие действию, выраженному глаголом-сказуемым.
He is proud of having murdered his mother-in-law this man to his place. Он гордится тем, что убил свою тёщу.
He was proud of having been offered a joint. Он гордился тем, что ему предложили выкурить косячок .


Read the article and translate the sentences containing gerunds. (in case, of course, you find any…)



A Romanian man ended up in hospital after he tied string (шнурок) around his penis to avoid going to the toilet.
Vasile Barbulescu now faces months of complicated surgery to correct the damage caused.
He was taken to hospital in Galati in southeast Romania where he admitted wrapping string around his penis to put off going to the toilet until he got home.
Doctors have said they are unsure whether they can repair the damage and say he faces repeated surgery.
The doctor who treated the man, said: "He told us he had tied it round really tight. When we finally got it off we saw his penis had massive injuries."

Несколько слов в копилку изучающего:
1. string – верёвка; завязка, шнурок, струна, тетива
2. complicated surgery – сложная хирургическая операция
3. repeated surgery – повторная операция
4. massive injuries – тяжёлые травмы
5. to put off doing smth - откладывать

P.S. Ok, I give up! В тексте 3 герундия.

Issue 14 – Advanced Reading – Про мальчика и хомячка


Hello, dear English learners. Today’s Advanced Reading is about the consequences of having a pet.


(taken from the Exile paper for purely educational purposes)

to claw - хватать, рвать, тянуть, рыть когтями или пальцами
tissue - ткань, материя (особенно тонкая, дорогая)
rodent – грызун
tormentor - мучитель

Hamsters can be deadly, and not just from clawing the delicate tissue around various Hollywood stars' sphincters. Just look at how a furry rodent caused the death of its tormentor, 8-year-old Timur.

to abuse - мучить; жестоко обращаться
to ail - болеть, беспокоить, тревожить;
horrified – шокирован

The kid was home alone, abusing his little furry friend. His mother was at work at an FSB hospital. His father, an invalid, lay ailing in another hospital. And his older brother was visiting the father.
Timur had taken the hamster out onto the balcony of his third-floor apartment. But this time he got a little carried away playing his favorite game (Spanish Inquisition) and the hamster somehow fell off the edge. Timur was horrified that he lost his playmate.

brokenhearted - убитый горем, несчастный; с разбитым сердцем
ill-advised - неблагоразумный; неосмотрительный, опрометчивый

However, before running down to find the rat, Timur called his mother at work and received permission to leave the apartment. This would be the last time they ever spoke. On his way out the door, he put the string with his keys around his neck. Unfortunately, the hamster hadn't waited for the boy and Timur returned to the apartment empty-handed and brokenhearted.
Once he was inside, he turned to lock the door. At this point he made the ill-advised decision to leave the keys around his neck. The lock was slightly higher than his neck and, as he was locking the door, Timur apparently slipped and hanged himself.

enterprising – предприимчивый
dangle - болтаться, свободно свисать, качаться

About 20 minutes later, his brother returned home. He buzzed a couple of times, but nobody opened the door. His key didn't work either. The enterprising lad went out onto the street and climbed up to his balcony. Once inside, he went to hang up his coat and saw his little brother dangling from the lock.
The hamster has still not been located for questioning in connection with Timur's death.

Man robbed bank to buy fake breasts

An Austrian man has been jailed after robbing a bank to pay for a breast operation for his transvestite lover.
Car mechanic Robert Steinwirt, 29, was caught just hours after he handed over the £7,000 he had robbed from the bank in Grinzens, Austria, to a plastic surgeon.
The surgeon called police because he was suspicious that the mechanic wanted to pay him so much money in cash up front for the operation.
Steinwert has been sentenced to six years in prison.


Find the words in the text above using these definitions:
1. one of the two round raised parts of a woman's body that produce milk when she has a baby
2. a person who seeks sexual pleasure from wearing clothes that are normally associated with the opposite sex
3. to take something from (someone) illegally, as by force or threat of violence
4. a doctor who is specially trained to perform surgery.
5. thinking that someone might be guilty of doing something wrong or dishonest, without being sure
6. give money in advance

Запомню назло всем:
Время Past Perfect выражает прошедшее действие, ко¬торое произошло раньше другого прошедшего действия.

Пример: By the time Paul returned to his room, his transvestite friend Bobby had already put on his best pair of women breasts.

Deadly Word Boost
Read the story and do the super doper exercise that follows it.

• An Inmate – заключённый
• Flooded with – наводненный, заполненный чем-л.
• To squat - сидеть на корточках
• Facility – приспособление
• At smb’s expense – за чей-либо счёт
• Loo = туалет (BrE)
• Flooring – покрытие
• continental - небританский; относящийся к европейскому континенту
• insider - лицо, располагающее конфиденциальной информацией о делах организации
• diverse establishment – учреждение, в котором работают (отсиживают) люди разных национальностей
• tract - полоса, участок, пространство (земли, леса,воды)
• out of courtesy – для вежливости

A prison is spending £10,000 on "hole in the ground" toilets because some foreign inmates hate sitting down when they go.

   The jail, where 90% of inmates are from abroad, has been flooded with complaints from prisoners who want to squat.

   So a new toilet facility is being built in a Canterbury jail, Kent, at taxpayers' expense.

Each loo has a hole and a ceramic tray with no seat and non-slip flooring, like those found in continental roadside services and bars.
   
An insider said: "It is a joke really. We have modern, smart toilet facilities here but we have to spend another £10,000 for holes in the ground.
   
Prison governor Chris Bartlett said: "We are a very diverse establishment. The reality is that vast tracts of the world don't use a standard European toilet."

Deputy head of residential services Dave Lambourne said the loos are being fitted "out of courtesy", mainly for the use of prisoners from the Far East.

  Test Yasself!

 Now that you’ve read the text you better do dis exercise, dude, or I’ma cut ya like a pig.


   Mark the following statements as:

• ·         Perhaps True (PT),
• ·         Definitely True (DT),
• ·         Possibly False (PF),
• ·         Definitely False (DF),
• ·         No Evidence (NE).

1. The inmates felt depressed and unconfident while using the sit-on loos.
2. The inmates are all from Romania.
3. The loos had to be downgraded out of sheer curiosity.
4. Every continental loo is of no-sit-on-type.
5. The prison authorities acted on the advice of medics who said the insiders would feel better if the squatted during taking a … , you know what.