Откройте свой Мир!

Система английских времен с точки зрения употребления глагола TO VODKA.1. Во-первых, необходимо уяснить, что в исследуемом языке существуют глаголы:-неопределенные (indefinite), то есть неизвестно, пьешь ли ты или не пьешь,
-длительные (continous), то есть ты пьешь и находишься в состоянии глубокого запоя,
-завершенные (perfect), то есть ты уже либо вышел из запоя, либо уже окончательно напился и вырубился.

2.Во-вторых, существует объективное:
-настоящее(present)-ваше отношение к спиртному,
-прошлое(past)-темное или светлое
-будущее(future)-то что вам светит: цирроз печени, наркологический диспансер, белая горячка и т.п.,

3. Теперь все смешиваем.
3.1 Present
3.1.1 Present indefinite (настоящее неопределенное): I vodka every day- я пью водку каждый день. Вместо every day можно употреблять выражения (usually, seldom, often, from time to time, from MELKAYA POSSUDA, BOLSHIMI GLOTKAMI…)
3.1.2. Present Continuous (настоящее длительное): I am vodking now- Я пью водку сейчас
Для эмфатического эффекта с этим временем можно употреблять наречия He is constantly vodking!-он постоянно поддатый!
3.1.3. Present Perfect (настоящее завершенное) I have already vodked- я уже нажравмшись. В ответ на предложение выпить)
3.1.4.Pressent Perfect Continuos (насятощее заверешнное-продолженное): I have been vodking since childhood- я пью водку с детства(тип inclusive). Я пил водку с детства (но уже не пью)-тип exclusive.

3.2. Past:
3.2.1 Past indefinite (прошедшее неопределенное): I vodked yesterday- я напился вчера. Не путать со временем 3.1.3. там ты напился только что.
3.2.2. Past Continuos (прошедшее длительное). Часто употребляется как придаточное предложение к главному во времени: Unforunately, I was vodking at the moment my wife came-к несчастью я пил водку в тот момент, когда пришла жена.
3.3.3. Past Perfect (прошедшее завершенное). Также употребляется как придаточное: I had already vodked when my wife came. Я уже упился, когда вошла жена.
3.2.4. Past Perfect Conntinuos (прошедшее завершенно-продолженное): I had been vodking for about a month when my wife came-Япил водку уже около месяца когда вошла моя жена.
3.3 Future Indefenite(будущее неопределенное): I will vodka tomorrow-я буду пить водку завтра.
Примечание: В придаточных предложениях времени и условия (то есть при отсутствии подходящего времени и условий) вместо времени 3.3.1 употребляется время 3.1.1: If I vodka tomorrow, I will be sick the day after tomorrow-Если я выпью завтра, я буду болеть послезавтра.
3.3.2.Future Continuos (будущее длительное) I will be vodking tomorrow at 5 –Я буду заниматься употреблением горячительных напитков завтра в пять.
Примечание: При горячем желании опохмелиться вместо времени 3.3.1 можно употребить время 3.3.2: Soon! Soon I will be vodking! CСкоро!Скоро я буду пить водку!
3.3.3. Future Perfect (будущее завершенное).Употребляется при планировании состояния опьянения6 Tomorrow by 5 o clock I will have vodked-Завтра к пяти я буду нажравмшись.
3.3.4.Future Perfect Continuos (будущее завершено-длительное): By tomorrow morning I will have been vodknig for a term- к завтрашнему утру буду пить водку семестр.
3.3.5 Future in the Past(будущее в прошедшем): Would you vodka in the children garden?-Хотели бы вы пить белую в детском саду?

ВНИМАНИЕ В ВЫПУСКЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ НЕЦЕНЗУРНАЯ ЛЕКСИКА НА РУССКОМ ЯЗЫКЕ !
Deadly Word UNBoost

All of the below is taken from the ENGLISHBAD community (livejournal). It's been specially sorted out and presented for the sake of showing that English can also be messed with. (I'd like to express my warmest gratitude to this community's members even if they call me a mean mo*** fu*** for using their ideas when they, by some fluke, see them here.)

fat trust – жиртрест

so as? - ну как?
but-but! - но-но! (лошади)
lavatorial water - туалетная вода
doctor's sausage - докторская колбаса
sunny kick - солнечный удар
stomachial - животное
pinnable - прикольно
floor member - пол. член
yes you what!? - да ты что!?
multi-purpose successive tire - универсальная последовательная шина (USB)
pass of a pork - свинопас
flying way out - летальный исход
not maybe! - не может быть!
father's verytable - папский престол
to salt for - насолить за что-либо
to vomit and throw - рвать и метать
to damage the air - портить воздух

erected entireness — поднятая целина

Pussy-cat — гнойная кошка

incompetent singing — недельный запой
beat-a-thief — воробей

nasal shawl — носовой платок

empty ring — пустозвон

self feeling — самочувствие
to drag a fool — валять дурака
to drink enough until little devils come — напиться до чертиков
это тупое сообщество — it's an obtuse assemblage
писать нет мочи — there's no urine to pee with

Can You hear me - Ты можешь меня здесь
Undressed custom model - Голая таможенная модель
Manicures - Деньги лечат
I'm just asking - Я всего лишь король жоп
I have been there - У меня там фасоль
God only knows - Единственный нос бога
We are the champions - Мы шампиньоны
Just in case - Только в портфеле
Oh dear - Ах, олень.
I saw my honey today - Я пилил мой мед сегодня
I'm going to make you mine - Я иду копать тебе шахту
Finnish people - Конченые люди
Phone seller - Позвони продавцу
Good products - Бог на стороне уток
Let's have a party - Давайте организуем партию
Watch out! - Посмотри снаружи!
Let it be! - Давайте жрать пчел!
Press space bar to continue - Космический бар прессы продолжает ..

это прекрасный глаз, дорогой - that's a wonderful idea

towerless — безбашенный

beat grandmothers - заколачивать бабки

cunt with ears — пи… с ушами

floor intelligence — полоумие
they lived-they were — жили-были

horseradish knows - хрен знает

Путин = PooTeen ~ какающий подросток

* poo - какать (англ.)
teen - подросток (англ.)

mail transfer disabled - доставка инвалида по почте

to overbuild smb — расстраивать кого-либо

a jolly leper — веселый проказник

to uncloud — разоблачать

he-like — оный

door about eat - дверной проем
along the news of Squirrels on - повести Белкина
swap awl for soap - меняй шило на мыло*
gun in the window - в окно дуло

Hour by hour doesn't lose weight - час от часу не легче

well, this is yes - вот это да

place estate - местоимение
under lying - подлежащее
behind the fifth – запятая

best man at a wedding - лучший мужчина на свадьбе

Remember the shit - this is it! Вспомнишь го…о - вот и оно! )))

simple gland — простата
not Nastya's day — ненастье

she's like a half of the evil — она сползла

honey examination — медосмотр

sick question — больной вопрос
on a lean end — на худой конец
to beat with key — бить ключом

toilet lock — запор в туалете

chalk drama — мелодрама
suffocatic — душистый
faggoties — голубцы
to moustachize — уссаться

undertale — подсказка

roll the lip - закатай губу

Can you hear me?.. -- Ты можешь меня здесь?...
некрасивый плащ – gowno

self fly – самолет

frombreathing - отдых
table b - столб
to open the centuries - открывать веки
I don't like co-cisterns - я не люблю собак

slim humor - тонкий юмор
thin hint - тонкий намек
his gut is too thick - у него кишка тонка
two pizza! - тупица!

knocker - стукач
picture all along silence - картинка по умолчанию

likewise - как умный

which one to eat! - какой есть!

Advanced Reading
(compiled by Lena Zamokova, the moderatrix of Deadly English, based on the article from the Exile paper)

Newly Born, Fast Killed

Mmmm. Abandoned babies. In late October, railroad workers between electrichka stops Khotkovo and Sergiev-Posad found a newborn baby swathed in the towels that they give out at free policlinics. The forces of the Railroad UVD have already apprehended the devious duo responsible: the baby's mother and grandmother.

This wasn't the 22-year-old mother's first kid. After getting knocked up in 1998, she left her baby in the care of the state at some detdom in her hometown Vladimir. Perhaps once she saw what a mistake that ended up being, she decided to put her second child out of its misery.

She gave birth to a healthy baby girl at a Moscow clinic on October 22, with her mother by her side for moral support. Once they got the little bundle of joy home, they tossed her on the balcony and left her there to die. It was cold and all the neighbors' windows were shut, so no one could hear her scream. At some point that night, the baby died of hypothermia.

The next day, the mother and babushka stuffed the bundle into a plastic bag and jumped on an electrichka to Aleksandrov, where the mother used to live. However, the wagon was still full when they reached the station, so they decided to continue on. By the time they got to Sergiev-Posad, there was nobody on the train, and they discreetly tossed the frozen kid out the window and headed home.

Once getting home, they affected a mournful voice and called all their relatives telling them that the baby was born dead. They didn't cover their tracks well enough, though, and the militsia caught up to them within the week.

1.

2.

Find the words by their definitions


to wrap a piece of cloth around (a baby)

insincere and dishonest

make someone pregnant

secretly while no one was watching

to put on a show of

doleful , sorrowful


3.

Translate the following sentences into Russian

The forces of the Railroad UVD have already apprehended the devious duo responsible: the baby's mother and grandmother. Once they got the little bundle of joy home, they tossed her on the balcony and left her there to die. By the time they got to Sergiev-Posad, there was nobody on the train, and they discreetly tossed the frozen kid out the window and headed home.

Read the story, then do the multiple choice test after it.

If you get off, you leave a place because it is time to leave.
If something wastes away, it becomes extremely thin or weak.
Eventually – finally, at last
jogging bottoms – tights someone wears for jogging
Initially means soon after the beginning of a process or situation, rather than in the middle or at the end of it.
Convince - If someone or something convinces you to do something, they persuade you to do it.
If someone mistreats a person or an animal, they treat them badly, especially by making them suffer physically.
When the police charge someone, they formally accuse them of having done something illegal.



A US woman refused to get off her boyfriend's toilet for two years.
Her legs wasted away and her skin grew around the seat.
Her boyfriend brought her food and water every day and asked if she was coming out of the bathroom but she would reply: "Maybe tomorrow."
He eventually called in police, who found the 35-year-old woman with her jogging bottoms pulled down to mid-thigh.
She initially refused to leave but was convinced to do so by police. The seat had to be cut away from her body in hospital.
Sheriff Bryan Whipple said: "She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just stuck by her body."
Police may charge the boyfriend, 36, with mistreating her but he claims she just didn't want to leave.
The unnamed woman, of Ness City, Kansas, refuses to talk to investigators. Neighbour James Ellis said she had a tough childhood after her mum died.


Why did the boy call in police?
a. He grew sick and tired of having to pee and defecate into the bath tub.
b. He wanted to clean the loo because it smelled like hell.
c. He was worrying about the girl.

What did the police see when they arrived at the scene?
a. The girl was stuck to the toilet seat.
b. The boy dressed as Elvis was entertaining the girl by singing "Only you".
c. The boy was showing the sitting girl her old family albums.

FRIENDLY WARNING !!!
Today's issue of English Booster should be read and studied to Riahna's megahit "Unfaithful" !!!



Употребление.

Past Perfect обозначает действие, законченное до определённого момента в прошлом или до начала другого действия в прошлом.

He had severely mutilated our neighbour's body … when I came.

… by 3 o'clock yesterday.

… before she arrived home.

Он с особой жестокостью обезобразил (уже обезобразил) тело нашего соседа … когда я пришёл.

… вчера к 3-м часам.

… до того, как она приехала домой.

They went home after they had packed up all the cocaine . Они пошли домой после того, как упаковали (спрятали) весь кокаин.


Важно помнить, что Past Perfect употребляется в тексте для того, чтобы показать, что что-то произошло или было сделано раньше чего-то в прошлом.


Deadly Word Boost
Найдите в тексте предложения, в которых употреблено время Past Perfect и переведите их. (если, конечно, не устанете от имен китайских в начале статьи.)

Make sure you undertand these words before you start reading this article:

oath - a formal promise, especially a promise to be loyal to a person or country.

unfaithful – adulterous

suspicious - thinking that someone might be guilty of doing something wrong or dishonest, without being sure

bathhouse – китайская баня!!! (new!!!)

pellet - a small ball of paper, mud, lead, or other material

nudge – to push gently

Faling to notice ... - не заметив

feud - a quarrel in which two people or groups remain angry with each other for a long time, although they are not always fighting or arguing.

funeral banquet – банкет в честь умершего


Kiss of Death

Xia (or Xin) Xinfeng, from Maolou in the central Chinese province of Henan, has been sentenced to death for killing Mao Ansheng, her childhood sweetheart, with a kiss.


They had sworn an oath that if either were unfaithful, they would have to die. Xia took action when she saw her man talking to a woman in a way that made her suspicious. They had arranged to meet the next day at a public bathhouse. She filled a plastic pellet with rat poison, hid it under her tongue, and while they were kissing, nudged it into his mouth. Failing to notice, Mao swallowed it and died shortly afterwards.

Rat poison is one of the commonest methods of murder and suicide in China. One variety, dushuqiang, was banned three years ago. A widow had used it to kill 10 guests, with whom she had been engaged in a feud, at her husband's funeral banquet.


Запомню назло всем:

Past Perfect нужно употреблять осторожно! И не в коем случае не целовать свою возлюленную и, не дай Бог, её маму не убедившись, что у них нет шариков с ядом под языком!

Deadly Word Boost
В сегодняшней рассылке English Booster мы, как и обычно, постараемся запомнить несколько словечек великого английского языка.

Инструкция по изучению словечек:
1.Guess the meaning of the word by its definition (the word comes before the sentence).
2.Think of the Russian translation for the word
3.Read the sentence to check your guesses.

Man with two penises loses wife

persuade smb to do smth - to make someone decide to do something

A German who persuaded doctors to give him a second penis has lost his wife after he showed her the result.

mixture - a combination of two or more people, things, feelings, or ideas that are different

Biker Michael Gruber, 40, lost his original penis in a motorbike accident and doctors built him a second one using a mixture of skin, bone and other tissues from his own body.

to father - to make a woman have a child

The penis worked so well that he was even able to father a child with his wife Bianca, 25, and their son Etienne was born last year.

to be a success – to have a good result or effect

But Gruber was still not happy and asked doctors to repeat the operation and build him a better organ, to which they agreed.
However, before removing the first penis doctors said they needed to make sure the new tissue transplant was a success, and had to leave the first penis in place.

to supply - to provide

Dr Markus Kuentscher, a plastic surgeon at Berlin's Accident Hospital, said: "We left the old one attached until the new one is properly supplied with blood."
But when Gruber showed his wife his double penis, she went home, packed her bags and left.

intact - not broken, damaged, or spoiled, usually after something bad has happened


From his hospital bed he said: "I've got two penises but no wife, but I am hoping when I get rid of one of the penises I will get her back."
His testicles are intact and will be connected to what is actually his third penis.

feature - to show a particular person or thing in a film, magazine, show

His story was this week featured on a German TV documentary called The Last Penis Operation.


Запомню назло всем
Глагол provide:

Someone can provide something but they cannot 'provide someone'
• Will they provide a car?
You can say that you
provide someone with
something or provide something for someone
• He provided me with everything (NOT provided me everything) I needed.
• They did not provide enough paper for everyone (NOT to everyone).

To provide for someone means to support them by giving them the things they need to live
• She has to provide for her four children (NOT provide her four children).

P.S. Удачи Вам, дорогие мои.

Deadly Grammar-Lexical Boost
Hello, dear English learners. Today’s issue is about something that you won’t find in Russian – THE GERUND
Запомню назло всем!


Герундий имеет свойства как глагола, так и существительного. Подобной неличной формы в русском языке нет. Как существительное он может выполнять в предложении функции подлежащего, дополнения, определения и обстоятельства с предлогом. Как глагол может иметь после себя прямое дополнение и определяться наречием, иметь перфектную форму, категорию залога, а также выражать действие как процесс.
Герундий образуется от основы глагола с помощью суффикса –ing.

To translate – translating, to read – reading.
И имеет 4 формы

He likes taking pills with his whiskey. Он любит глотать таблетки с виски.
She likes being nailed to the cross like a Christ. Он любит, когда его, как Христа, прибивают гвоздями к кресту.
Перфектные формы герундия (Perfect Gerund) обозначают действия, предшествующие действию, выраженному глаголом-сказуемым.
He is proud of having murdered his mother-in-law this man to his place. Он гордится тем, что убил свою тёщу.
He was proud of having been offered a joint. Он гордился тем, что ему предложили выкурить косячок .


Read the article and translate the sentences containing gerunds. (in case, of course, you find any…)



A Romanian man ended up in hospital after he tied string (шнурок) around his penis to avoid going to the toilet.
Vasile Barbulescu now faces months of complicated surgery to correct the damage caused.
He was taken to hospital in Galati in southeast Romania where he admitted wrapping string around his penis to put off going to the toilet until he got home.
Doctors have said they are unsure whether they can repair the damage and say he faces repeated surgery.
The doctor who treated the man, said: "He told us he had tied it round really tight. When we finally got it off we saw his penis had massive injuries."

Несколько слов в копилку изучающего:
1. string – верёвка; завязка, шнурок, струна, тетива
2. complicated surgery – сложная хирургическая операция
3. repeated surgery – повторная операция
4. massive injuries – тяжёлые травмы
5. to put off doing smth - откладывать

P.S. Ok, I give up! В тексте 3 герундия.

Hey there, Dear English Learners. I hope this issue of English Booster finds you well and full of life. In the previous issue of EB I promised that this one was going to be about love. Well, I never go back on my word, so here it is.

DEADLY WORD BOOST

Task 1. Find the English equivalents for the following Russian words. (they all can be found in the article below) Try to remember the words so that they "отлетали от зубов". But let it not discourage you – the words to learn are all in bold type in the text.
"бросать (кого-л)" (2 слова), отплатить, пожертвовать, своячница, последнее средство, идеально подходить, операция (сокращенно), сбежать с.

Hubby ditches wife who saved his life

A husband has repaid the wife who donated a kidney to save his life - by dumping her for her sister-in-law. John Jewell, 53, of Woodley, Berks, has left wife of 33 years Carol to move in with her brother's wife. Town mayor Carol, also 53, did not hesitate when John was seriously ill. Doctors had been unable to find a donor and tested Carol as a last resort. She was a perfect match and the op went ahead. Now John has returned Carol's kindness by running off with Marilyn Edmeades. Carol said: "I'm more upset than anything else. But I'm trying to look forward not back."


Task 2. Try to guess the words by their definitions:
1. the organs in your body that take waste matter from your blood and send it out of your body as urine;
2. to delay doing something
3. go on, proceed
4. the quality of being gentle, caring, and helpful
5. unhappy or disappointed because something unpleasant has happened to you

Discussing the Article:
1. Do you think the man should be punished for what he has done to his wife? If yes, what would be his best punishment in your humble opinion? Don’t forget to put a ;( - smilie at the end of your long rant.
2. Do you agree with the Russian proverb "Да, мы бабы – дуры." ?


Can’t wait to comment on the article? Don’t hesitate to do so in the DEADLY ENGLISH COMMUNITY on mail.ru. Any feedback is not so much welcome as beneficial to language acquisition. (Вот тут с последней фразой я явно намутил.)

P.S. Несколько слов по-русски:
Недавно пришла ко мне прилюбопытнейшая рассылка, в которой говорилось, буквально следующее "ВЕРА – вот, что поможет Вам, изучить английский язык! Записывайтесь на курсы за $600 и заговорите с нами, веря в то, что вы заговорите." Извините, дорогие English Learners, но не мог я не матюгнуться, прочитав этот бред. Я всегда воздерживался от публичных заявлений насчёт школ английского и тому подобного. (и, I give you my word of honor, никогда более не затрону этой темы, ибо рассылка English Booster в большей мере направлена только лишь на пополнение словарного запаса через Reading, as opposed to Хиэринг и Спикинг). Представьте на эту сумму можно купить:
1. Словарик Мюллера и диск с LDOCE
2. Книжечки Мёрфи
3. Аудиокурс + Пособие (но тут надо "заморочиться", чтобы выбрать действительно то, что Вам нужно)
4. Заплатить за месяц безлимита и => бродить по сайтам BBC и миллионам других, разговаривать с помощью Skype или Gtalk. Вот кстати ссылка на убийственный каталог для English Learners.
5. Бутолочки две хорошего пивка и пакетик стружки кальмарной.
И, наконец, учите, учите и учите. (Now I sound so Lenin-like.) I’m terribly sorry for this verbal outpour. Believe me, dears, the last thing I want is to sound patronizing. See you next week, Pup.
Want more? I mean want more of Putin? Then read this article and enlarge your vocabulary

Повторение: Present Perfect
Образование.
Present Perfect образуется при помощи глагола to have в Present Indefinite и Participle II (Причастия II) смыслового глагола.
I have watched the Privat channel for years.
Я смотрю телеканал "Приват" уже многие годы.

Present Perfect употребляется:
1. Для выражения действия, завершившегося к моменту речи. Время действия не указывается, важен сам факт совершения действия к настоящему моменту или его результат.
• She has deleted 4 Gigs of porn from my computer.
Она удалила 4 гектара порно с моего компа.
(Действие завершено к моменту речи.)

В этом значении Present Perfect часто употребляется с наречиями just – только что, already – уже, yet – ещё, lately – недавно, of late – в последнее время, recently – недавно.
• I’ve just kicked her butt for that. (Я только что отвесил ей за это пендаля.)

2. Для выражения действия, которое завершилось, но тот период, в котором оно происходило, ещё продолжается и может быть обозначен обстоятельствами времени today – сегодня, this week – на этой неделе, this month – в этом месяце, this century – в нашем веке и др.
I have downloaded lots of excellent Asian porn this month.
Я в этом месяце скачал много первоклассного порно.

3. Для выражения действия, которое началось в прошлом и продолжается до настоящего времени.
I have known him all my life. Я знаю его всю жизнь.
I have known him for 2 years. Я знаю его 2 года.
But I haven’t seen him since January. Он не видел своих родителей с января.

4. Present Perfect может употребляться с наречиями always – всегда, often – часто, seldom – редко, ever – когда-нибудь, never – никогда.
• She has never been to Germany. Она никогда не была в Германии.
• Have you ever been to Germany? Вы когда-нибудь были в Германии?

Прочитайте эту крайне поучительную статью и переведите предложения с Present Perfect. (если конечно захотите)


to design – конструировать
prized – драгоценный
mag – журнал
leave behind – оставлять после себя
lined with red satin – обитый сатином



A Russian pensioner has designed his own coffin to include space for his prized collection of porn mags.
Vladimir Villisov decided to have a special coffin made after surviving a heart attack and realising he did not want to leave the magazines behind.
"The girls in those magazines have been my companions for years, and I want them to accompany me to the next life," said the unmarried 65-year-old from Mramorskoe.
He added that he even sometimes lies in his coffin, lined with red satin, to read his top shelf material.

Man robbed bank to buy fake breasts

An Austrian man has been jailed after robbing a bank to pay for a breast operation for his transvestite lover.
Car mechanic Robert Steinwirt, 29, was caught just hours after he handed over the £7,000 he had robbed from the bank in Grinzens, Austria, to a plastic surgeon.
The surgeon called police because he was suspicious that the mechanic wanted to pay him so much money in cash up front for the operation.
Steinwert has been sentenced to six years in prison.


Find the words in the text above using these definitions:
1. one of the two round raised parts of a woman's body that produce milk when she has a baby
2. a person who seeks sexual pleasure from wearing clothes that are normally associated with the opposite sex
3. to take something from (someone) illegally, as by force or threat of violence
4. a doctor who is specially trained to perform surgery.
5. thinking that someone might be guilty of doing something wrong or dishonest, without being sure
6. give money in advance

Запомню назло всем:
Время Past Perfect выражает прошедшее действие, ко¬торое произошло раньше другого прошедшего действия.

Пример: By the time Paul returned to his room, his transvestite friend Bobby had already put on his best pair of women breasts.

Issue 14 – Advanced Reading – Про мальчика и хомячка


Hello, dear English learners. Today’s Advanced Reading is about the consequences of having a pet.


(taken from the Exile paper for purely educational purposes)

to claw - хватать, рвать, тянуть, рыть когтями или пальцами
tissue - ткань, материя (особенно тонкая, дорогая)
rodent – грызун
tormentor - мучитель

Hamsters can be deadly, and not just from clawing the delicate tissue around various Hollywood stars' sphincters. Just look at how a furry rodent caused the death of its tormentor, 8-year-old Timur.

to abuse - мучить; жестоко обращаться
to ail - болеть, беспокоить, тревожить;
horrified – шокирован

The kid was home alone, abusing his little furry friend. His mother was at work at an FSB hospital. His father, an invalid, lay ailing in another hospital. And his older brother was visiting the father.
Timur had taken the hamster out onto the balcony of his third-floor apartment. But this time he got a little carried away playing his favorite game (Spanish Inquisition) and the hamster somehow fell off the edge. Timur was horrified that he lost his playmate.

brokenhearted - убитый горем, несчастный; с разбитым сердцем
ill-advised - неблагоразумный; неосмотрительный, опрометчивый

However, before running down to find the rat, Timur called his mother at work and received permission to leave the apartment. This would be the last time they ever spoke. On his way out the door, he put the string with his keys around his neck. Unfortunately, the hamster hadn't waited for the boy and Timur returned to the apartment empty-handed and brokenhearted.
Once he was inside, he turned to lock the door. At this point he made the ill-advised decision to leave the keys around his neck. The lock was slightly higher than his neck and, as he was locking the door, Timur apparently slipped and hanged himself.

enterprising – предприимчивый
dangle - болтаться, свободно свисать, качаться

About 20 minutes later, his brother returned home. He buzzed a couple of times, but nobody opened the door. His key didn't work either. The enterprising lad went out onto the street and climbed up to his balcony. Once inside, he went to hang up his coat and saw his little brother dangling from the lock.
The hamster has still not been located for questioning in connection with Timur's death.

Find synonyms to the following words in the text:

1) To exchange
2) To strike a deal
3) Shocked, surprised
4) Lucrative


A Bulgarian farmer has swapped his wife for a goat - because she couldn't give him kids. Stoil Panayotov exchanged his third wife with Elena the eight-year-old goat at a livestock market, reports the Daily Telegraph. The extraordinary deal was concluded in front of a stunned crowd in the market town of Plovdiv, central Bulgaria. "The day before a friend told me that he has had no luck with women and that he really liked my wife," says the 54-year-old. "The deal was reached when my wife gave her approval. The goat has given birth to three kids and my wife to none. "So this deal was more profitable to the goat owner, I got a second-hand goat and he got a brand new wife."

Запомню назло всем:
If you swap something with someone, you give it to them and receive a different thing in exchange.

- Let’s swap places.
- Aha. Now you wanna swap places. Next time you wanna swap wives?

Deadly Word Boost
Read the story and do the super doper exercise that follows it.

• An Inmate – заключённый
• Flooded with – наводненный, заполненный чем-л.
• To squat - сидеть на корточках
• Facility – приспособление
• At smb’s expense – за чей-либо счёт
• Loo = туалет (BrE)
• Flooring – покрытие
• continental - небританский; относящийся к европейскому континенту
• insider - лицо, располагающее конфиденциальной информацией о делах организации
• diverse establishment – учреждение, в котором работают (отсиживают) люди разных национальностей
• tract - полоса, участок, пространство (земли, леса,воды)
• out of courtesy – для вежливости

A prison is spending £10,000 on "hole in the ground" toilets because some foreign inmates hate sitting down when they go.

   The jail, where 90% of inmates are from abroad, has been flooded with complaints from prisoners who want to squat.

   So a new toilet facility is being built in a Canterbury jail, Kent, at taxpayers' expense.

Each loo has a hole and a ceramic tray with no seat and non-slip flooring, like those found in continental roadside services and bars.
   
An insider said: "It is a joke really. We have modern, smart toilet facilities here but we have to spend another £10,000 for holes in the ground.
   
Prison governor Chris Bartlett said: "We are a very diverse establishment. The reality is that vast tracts of the world don't use a standard European toilet."

Deputy head of residential services Dave Lambourne said the loos are being fitted "out of courtesy", mainly for the use of prisoners from the Far East.

  Test Yasself!

 Now that you’ve read the text you better do dis exercise, dude, or I’ma cut ya like a pig.


   Mark the following statements as:

• ·         Perhaps True (PT),
• ·         Definitely True (DT),
• ·         Possibly False (PF),
• ·         Definitely False (DF),
• ·         No Evidence (NE).

1. The inmates felt depressed and unconfident while using the sit-on loos.
2. The inmates are all from Romania.
3. The loos had to be downgraded out of sheer curiosity.
4. Every continental loo is of no-sit-on-type.
5. The prison authorities acted on the advice of medics who said the insiders would feel better if the squatted during taking a … , you know what.

Amazing But True

Advanced Reading
What To Do If An Anaconda Attacks You

Excerpt is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for volunteers working in the Amazon Jungle. It details what to do if an anaconda attacks you. Related to the boa constrictor (боа-констриктор), the anaconda is the largest snake species (вид) in the world. It grows to thirty-five feet in length and weighs 300 to 400 pounds.

1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.
2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another.
3. Tuck your chin in.
4. The snake will begin to nudge and climb over your body.
5. Do not panic.
6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet end - always from the feet end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic!
7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.
8. When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake's mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake's head.
9. Be sure you have your knife.
10. Be sure your knife is sharp.

Arrange the four paragraphs in the right order (the article starts with D ). If you do it correctly, you should get a four-letter word which means a person who behaves very awkwardly in social situations or simply a stupid person.


(D) A German man who was mugged in a night club was mugged again two more times while waiting for the police.
(K) As he leaned back against the wall to recover, another five men approached him and again threatened him, stealing his jacket and the last of the small change.
(R) He called police from outside the club using a friend's mobile, but while he waited for them to arrive he was approached by three other men, who stole his watch and cigarettes.
(O)Reiner Hamer, 27, from Oberhausen, lost his wallet containing £120 and his mobile phone when three men attacked him in the toilet of his local night club.

Bear in mind:
Обратите внимание на образование Past Simple следующих глаголов:

to mug (mugged) - to attack someone and rob them in a public place
to recover (recovered) - to get better after an illness, accident, shock
to steal (stole) - to take something that belongs to someone else

Deadly Word Boost

1.высшие силы 2.охотится на 3.на первый взгляд 4.работающий в дневную смену
5.подмаренник цепкий (;)) 6.резко оборвалась 7.неясный, смутный 8.чётко выражать ( свои мысли) 9.воодушевлён 10.тонкости (зд.) 11.не уточнять, не вдаваться в детали




The Korneyev family had problems. They didn’t know it yet, but powers on high were out to get the seemingly functional family. Daddy was a day-shift security guard at the Zelenograd branch of Mosstroibank, while the missus was one of the few housewives in Russia. With their fourteen-year-old daughter, they seemed like a Russian version of the Cleavers in a one-bedroom apartment.

The idyllic family life all came to an abrupt end two weekends ago when a 40-year-old man, who claimed to be hearing voices, murdered all three. The details are still a bithazy (=vague) , as the murderer has been having trouble articulating what exactly who the voices were, what they commanded him to do and how he did it.

The last time anyone from the family was seen was Friday afternoon, when the husband left work. Nothing was reported until Monday morning, when an anonymous tip to the local militsia reported that there had been a murder in their apartment.

Apparently, the killer, a construction worker, was a long-time acquaintance of the family. Some time over the weekend he stopped by for a visit. The wife opened the door and he wasted no time explaining the purpose of his visit. Perhaps he figured they had heard the same voices? He shot her in the head and then shot the husband as he slept. Finally, he turned the pistol on the daughter and took her out, too.
Since he was divinely inspired, he didn’t pay much attention to subtlety. He didn’t bother trying to hide the corpses or clean up at all. He simply turned around and left the site of the crime, ditching his gun on the way out.

When the cops apprehended him several days later, he gave up without a fight. He didn’telaborate on what else the voices told him to do, although he suggested that this action might help him get in Jody Foster’s good graces.

Запомню назло всем:

An interesting word: DITCH (as a verb, spoken)

If you ditch something that you have or are responsible for, you abandon it or get rid of it, because you no longer want it. (INFORMAL) I decided to ditch the sofa bed. = dump

If someone ditches someone, they end a relationship with that person.(INFORMAL) I can’t bring myself to ditch him and start again. Julie's ditched her boyfriend.= dump

Things happen, dear English learners. Good or bad, they happen regularly or over a period of time. When a good thing happens, we are happy. Similarly, we are sad, when bad things happen. In a word, as long as we’re alive, sh** happens. (I guess I have to apologize for and correct a couple of mistakes I made in the previous issue of English Booster. First of which, DEADLY WORDs Boost. The letters D and S are so close on my keyboard… Don’t know about yours. Secondly, I forgot to include the link to some fruity English stuff on the web which was www.call4all.us.)

Deadly Word Boost + Grammar Tip

Переведи глаголы, с помощью любой программы-переводчика в Windows или Linux и скажи, в каком времени и залоге употреблёны оные:

Has been refused, was identified, found out, had identified, injured, has been divorced, were investigating, was paid.

Find the following English equivalents in the article:
Отказали, его тело было опознано, официально мёртв, заявить о пропаже, взрыв, мог погибнуть, травмированный, странный, по подозрению в, мошенничество, в качестве компенсации.

A Russian man has been refused a new passport because his 'body' was identified by his blind ex-wife. Oleg Lunkov found out he was officially dead when he walked into a Moscow police station to pick up his new passport.
He said: "When they told me my wife had identified my body I thought it was a joke, because she is blind." His ex-wife, Alla Timofeyeva, from whom he has been divorced since 2001, reported him missing after the bombing, saying she feared he could have been killed in the explosion. The explosion, which took place on a Moscow metro train, killed at least 40 people and injured more than 100 others. He said: "One of the bizarre things is I never travel by metro because I am a cab driver."
A spokeswoman from the City Prosecutor's Office confirmed police were investigating his ex-wife on suspicion of possible criminal fraud after she was paid more than £10,000 in compensation.

Guess the word by its definition:
1. a woman who has been chosen to speak officially for a group, organization, or government
2. wounded
3. odd and strange
4. someone who can’t be found and it’s unknown where he’s alive or not
5. the crime of gaining money or financial benefits by a trick or by lying.

Pay attention to the translation of this phrase "The City Prosecutor’s Office" – городская прокуратура
Внимание! Уважаемые English learners! ГОЛОСОВАНИЕ!!! We, all of us, are mortal as sins. But what would you want done to your dead body after your heart stops beating. This special public opinion poll will show how to get rid of the remains of the human flesh in a most productive way.

Выскажи все, что накипело в сообществе Deadly English! Однако, DO THAT IN ENGLISH!
Bis bald, werte Englishliebhabers.

Deadly Word Boost

A 54-year-old man living alone with his 73-year-old mother isn't as unusual in Russia as it probably should be. But this pair was something else entirely. According to neighbors, they didn't just live together, they did everything together. Contrary to the standard acrimonious relationship, these two were thick as thieves. They were often seen together in stores, consulting each other about what products to buy; they went to church together; they even made a pilgrimage to Greece. By all accounts, they were inseparable. It no doubt made it easier to share their one-room apartment on ul. Mikhailova.

Their relationship first blossomed several years ago, when the man's wife kicked him out of their apartment when he couldn't quit drinking. But it turns out he just needed the fear of God instilled in him. After he moved in with his mother, he quickly found God and quit the bottle. Five years ago he took his last drink, and devoted himself to serving God.

Not long ago, God started telling this man that he was Chosen for a mission. He was already prone (=having a tendency to be affected by or do something) to fanaticism, and ready to take it up a notch. On the morning of March 24, at about 7, God finally made clear his Plan. The man was to kill his mother, or, in the words of the Almighty, "Finish what has begun." The man, not wanting to seem like an ingrate, proceeded to beat his mother to death.

Now he's being held while the doctors access his competency to stand trial. According to Moskovsky Komsomolets, some philistines doubt he actually heard the voice of God. However, this guy knew the lesson of the Jonah story: there is no running from divine orders--or schizophrenia.

Try to remember these 10 as you know 10 Commandments:

1.желчный ( о характере ); саркастический, язвительный
2.≈ водой не разольёшь
3.совершать паломничество
4.по общим отзывам
5.внушать; вселять (надежду, страх)
6.склонный, предрасположенный (к чему-либо)
7.перенести на новый уровень (выше)
8.неблагодарный человек
9.оцентить, способен ли человек … (выявить)
10.обыватели, мирские люди

Hey there, dear English learners. Today’s issue of English Booster is about love and still waters running deep. So kick back and enjoy yourself.

1. Pre-reading activity. Working with a dictionary.
Увольнять (2 слова), обнаружить, старшие по званию, навлечь дурную славу, госпожа, дубинка полицейского, а мне плевать, …, распространяться (о новости)



A Hungarian policewoman has been sacked after she was spotted in a hard-core porn movie.
Livia Kovacs, 36, from the Budapest police force was spotted in the Triple X rated movie by a colleague who then told superiors.
She has now been fired for bringing the force into disrepute and misuse of her police uniform.
In the movies, she plays a dominatrix cop who uses her police handcuffs and a truncheon during a wild sex session.
Kovacs said: "I don't care about being fired. Since news spread about my acting debut I have been flooded with offers from producers to do more films."

2. Guess the word by its definition:
• 1. to make people stop trusting or having a good opinion of an activity, idea, organization etc
• 2. a woman who is the stronger partner in a sado-masochistic (sado¬masochism) sexual relationship
• 3. to dismiss someone from their job (2 words)

3. Translate the following sentence from Russian into English. Use the words from the text. Mind the translation of the word "бригада" :
"Спасибо тебе, Ваня, за то, что опозорил нашу бригаду!"

4. Сколько раз в тексте встречается Passive Voice: 2, 3 или 5?

5. Retell the text.

You have feedback? I mean you have something to say? Do it here: http://my.mail.ru/community...

Запомню назло всем:
Have something done употребляется, когда мы хотим сказать, что что-то было сделано за нас, мы не делали этого сами.
- Jane buried her husband. (=Джейн похоронила своего мужа сама)
- Jane had her husband buried. (=Кто-то другой похоронил его для нее)

Иногда Have something done употребляется для того, чтобы показать что что-то (обычно неприятное) случилось с кем-то, с чем-то. Прочитайте статью и поймёте.



Be run over – быть сбитым машиной
Pal – кореш
vehicle - транспортное средство
to panic - впадать в панику
witness - свидетель, очевидец
he's expected to … – ожидается, что он…
drive off – уехать



An Austrian teenager was run over by a tractor twice - once when he fell off and again when his friend drove back to see where he was.
Hubert Hochstetter, 17, from the village of Kainisch, fell off the tractor as he and his 22-year-old friend Josef Mittringer were driving along the road.
He fell under the back wheels of the three-ton vehicle and had his ribs and arms broken.
But his pal Mittringer who could not see his friend lying behind his back wheels reversed to look where he was, and in doing so ran him over again, this time breaking his legs.
Mittringer panicked when he saw what had happened and drove off. But witnesses called an ambulance and the teenager was treated in hospital.
Doctors said that he will be in hospital for weeks but he's expected to make a full recovery.

Внимание! Конкурс! Перед тем как ребята уехали на тракторе, мама Хуберта пожелала сыну "Break a leg!". Неужели она настолько злая? А может быть она имела в виду что-то другое?

Boost your vocabulary:
Pre-Reading Activities.
Memorizzzee zziii wiiiirrrdddz ...

толкать на рельсовый путь,
регулярно совершающий поездки в город (обычно на работу),
застрять,
тронуться (о поезде),
набирать скорость,
не смочь уцепиться за,
сдавленный (сжатый),
кромсать; резать или рвать на клочки,
визги,
набрались мужества, останки,



When you're waiting for the Metro, do you ever wonder what would happen if somebody pushed you onto the track? If so, it might interest you to know what happened to a 58-year-old commuter--let's call her "Missus Farshcar"--who got caught in the door of an elektrichka on the evening of August 10. Farshka was returning to her podmoskovoe home after a relaxing stay in a dom otdykha. She stepped out of her car, Wagon #5, but somehow got stuck in the door. Then the door shut and the train jerked forward, ready to go.

Missus Farshcar screamed for the driver to stop, but he didn't hear her. Other passengers saw what was happening and joined in, screaming, "Stop the train!" But the operator was in a hurry. He didn't check his mirrors like he was supposed to, he didn't hear the screaming, and he didn't stop the train. Which was bad news for Missus Farshcar. As the train slowly gained speed, she lost her grip on the door and fell forward. Her feet were still stuck on the running board, which meant she was squeezed between the train and platform. Hanging upside down, she was dragged, screaming, scraping and shredding bits of flesh and bone for a full 36 meters--that's longer than a blue whale!--before the operator finally reacted to passengers' horrified screeches (= shrills, cries) and hit the brakes. When the platform attendant and train operator finally worked up the courage (набрались мужества) to look at the human remains that used to be Farshcar, they decided there wasn't actually any need to call skoraya pomosh'. Officials scraped as much of the remains as possible off the machinery and announced that they're very, very sorry.

Unless you're learning Russian!
Find the following English equivalents for these Russian words:
1. skoraya pomosh
2. an elektrichka
3. dom otdykha

Deadly Word Boost
For each news item find a suitable title. Mind there’s one odd title which I’ve made up to complicate the whole thing.
A. No Fun for Scottish Addicts
B. The Old World Ways Meet Modern Law
C. GIVE 'EM THEIR DOO
D. D.Bill of a Robber
E. Seemed Brilliant At The Time
F. "Warning! No walking into walls. They will not move for you"
G. 90 per cent of all male chatters are pedophiles
H. It Was A Pleasure Having You Stay At Our Hotel, NOT!

1) A 17-year-old Amish boy was charged with Driving Under the Influence, reckless operation, and underage drinking when he ran his horse and buggy into a police car.

2) Complete with mask and gun, a Dresden, Germany, man entered a building that used to be a bank and left only after people finally convinced him that they didn't work in a bank, according to police.

3) A man sneaked past security at SeaWorld in Florida, hid in the park until after closing, jumped into the Killer Whale tank where the 5 ton killer whales lives, and drowned after suffering hypothermia. He was wearing only his underwear. The man's parents sued the park for "several million dollars" because the park didn't post a sign warning people that jumping into a tank of 50 degree F water with a 5-ton killer whale could cause injury.

4) An Egyptian olive merchant tried selling green olives as the more expensive black olives by dying the green olives black using shoe polish, according to police who confiscated 15 tons of dyed black olives.

5) A woman who took a dip in a hotel pool panicked when she couldn't find her gold wedding ring. So, staff put on snorkels and dived in, finding nothing. They then emptied the thousands of gallons of water from the pool, still finding nothing, according to the embarrassed woman who found her ring later at home next to her telephone.

6. The Scottish Daily Record reported that a bungling drug smuggler ended up trading $4.25 million worth of cocaine for an elderly woman's undies. He had picked up the wrong bag from the airport conveyor and left behind what turned out to be the largest seizure of illegal drugs in Scotland's history.

7) In Laohekou, China, a man on a motorcycle pulled up in front of a woman standing outside a bank with a bag in her hands, grabbed the bag and took off. It turned out that the bag contained dog poo (the woman had just picked up after her dog).

1) For a man to be able to fly like a bird, he would need to have a breastbone 2 metres long to hold the strong muscles necessary to give him the power to take off from the ground.
2) If a man could jump the same height as a flea, relative to its size, he could jump over St Paul's Cathedral.
3) If all the stars in the Milky Way had names, and if someone were to say the names one after the other, at the rate of one per second without stopping, it would take him 4,000 years.
4) If the entire history of the earth could be represented as a single day, our ancestors the cavemen would not appear until one minute before midnight.
5) If you lived on Mercury your birthday would come round every 88 days.


Запомню назло всем:

Условные предложения II типа.


Условие, содержащееся в условном придаточном предложении, рассматривается говорящим как маловероятное. Для выражения малой вероятности осуществления действия в настоящем или будущем временах сказуемое главного предложения употребляется в форме сослагательного наклонения should / would + Indefinite Infinitive без to, а сказуемое придаточного предложения – в форме сослагательного наклонения, аналогичной Past Indefinite или were для всех лиц от глагола to be.

If my father were dead, he wouldn't beat my mother anymore. Если бы мой батя был на том свете, он бы мамку не избивал.

If we paid more cash, they would give us some extra coke in addition to what we have already bought . Если бы мы заплатили больше налички, они в довесок накинули бы нам больше кокса на халяву.

Issue 35 – Больные Люди
Deadly Word Boost
Sisters keep dead mum in fridge - for ten years

Гробовщик, сотрудник похоронного бюро

Раскошеливаться (выкладывать деньги) (2 фразовых глагола)

хранить в холодной заморозке

похоронное бюро

церковь при похоронном бюро

неестественный, ненормальный, причудливый, странный, эксцентричный

Это вызывает опасения.

Вскрытие показало ...

закупорка кровеносного сосуда

полученные данные, добытые сведения

сгнивать

бальзамирование



Two sisters have kept their dead mother in an undertaker's fridge for ten years - so they can visit her every weekend.

Josephine and Valmai Lamas could not bear to bury mum Annie after she died in 1997, aged 84.
Instead, they have shelled out more than £13,000 to keep her in cold storage at a funeral parlour.
Josephine, 59, of Chiswick, West London, and Valmai, 52, of nearby Harrow, make separate weekly visits to sit with Annie in the parlour's chapel.

The Sun quoted a family source as saying: "Enough is enough... They don't seem to think what they're doing is in any way bizarre. But it's disturbing."

A post mortem examination revealed Annie died from an embolism but the sisters were unhappy with the findings.

They have paid £20 a week to keep Annie in the fridge at undertakers G Saville & Sons of Wembley, North West London.

They have also coughed up more than £2,000 on five wooden coffins - as four have rotted away over the years. And a further £800 has been spent on make-up.
Funeral director Phillip Saville said: "There are no laws saying people can't keep a corpse for years after registering the death, though it is normal to bury the body after just two weeks."
Valmai would say only: "I have always been a very private person and I am not interested in discussing any issues of my life."



Запомню назло всем:

Фразовые глаголы, передающие значение "отдвать бабло, раскошеливаться, спускать лаве".


Shell out - How much have you shelled out for this car? (отдаем горы бабок по собственному желанию)

Cough up – You'll have to cough up quite a sum to be let in. (отдаём горы бабок нехотя)

Fork up (out) – Don't expect me to fork up out of pity. Sue me first. (тоже, что и cough up)


Задание:


В этом выпуске вы познакомились с фразовыми глаголами, означающими процесс "раскошеливания". Скажите, отличается ли от них по значению глагол waste away?

Hello there, ladies and gentlmen. (Sometimes I wonder if people subscribed to this mailing list should ever be called ladies and genlemen,... or, for that matter, sane individuals at all. LOL... kidding). Here's the 3d issue of Enbooster which is supposed to take you to another planet called Hell. While learning a foreign language it's essential to pay attention to things like Grammar and Vocabulary. Not that I'm trying to be smart, it's a FACT.

Давайте почитаем следующие предложения, уловим их смысл, переведём с помощью подсказок в «брэкетах», постараемся запомнить их и составить как минимум 20 предложений, используя новые для вас словеса и обороты. If that seem an impossible task to do, just delete this mailing. LOL.

1. a non-account nothing that deserves to be buried alive??? .... But I never said that about you! Can't you believe me? (Лично я о вас не говорил этого. Поверьте мне.)
2.Take one more spade, just in case. На всякий случай, ...
3.The coroner smiled and said jokingly, "Just see what's going to happen now. It'll take your breath away, it sure will" ... "Ну а сейчас смотри. Ты ещё такого не видел."
4. Your brother, Pavlik, lives miles from here. In Heaven. (... где-то очень далеко ...)
5. That man over there has just tripped over the dead body. Ask him if he's ok? - Did you hurt yourself? (Вы ушиблись?)
6. He explained where, when and under what circumstances they had met and why he had attempted to kill the man. - But he wouldn't tell it to us! (... - А нам он не хотел сказать этого...)
Ask the gravedigger. He knows what's what!
7. Start in to trepan (trepanning) the cadaver. (Приступайте-ка к ...)
8. You don't need to come again. He's dead. (Вам нет необходимости ...)
9. I intend to stay the night at the morgue (at my brother's).
FRESH QUOTE FROM EnBOOSTER's Admin
«... And remember, no matter how fu***d up you are, USE ENGLISH ONLY....» Простите за русский!
HAVE A NICE DAY, EVERYBODY!

Advanced Reading
Amazing But Tру


1 The practice of burying the dead may date back 350,000 years, as evidenced by a 45-foot-deep pit in Atapuerca, Spain, filled with the fossils of 27 hominids of the species Homo heidelbergensis, a possible ancestor of Neanderthals and modern humans.

2 Never say die: There are at least 200 euphemisms for death, including "to be in Abraham's bosom," "just add maggots," and "sleep with the Tribbles" (a Star Trek favorite).

3 No American has died of old age since 1951.

4 That was the year the government eliminated that classification on death certificates.

5 The trigger of death, in all cases, is lack of oxygen. Its decline may prompt muscle spasms, or the "agonal phase," from the Greek word agon, or contest.

6 Within three days of death, the enzymes that once digested your dinner begin to eat you. Ruptured cells become food for living bacteria in the gut, which release enough noxious gas to bloat the body and force the eyes to bulge outward.

7 So much for recycling: Burials in America deposit 827,060 gallons of embalming fluid—formaldehyde, methanol, and ethanol—into the soil each year. Cremation pumps dioxins, hydrochloric acid, sulfur dioxide, and carbon dioxide into the air.

8 Alternatively . . . A Swedish company, Promessa, will freeze-dry your body in liquid nitrogen, pulverize it with high-frequency vibrations, and seal the resulting powder in a cornstarch coffin. They claim this "ecological burial" will decompose in 6 to 12 months.

9 Zoroastrians in India leave out the bodies of the dead to be consumed by vultures.

10 The vultures are now dying off after eating cattle carcasses dosed with diclofenac, an anti-inflammatory used to relieve fever in livestock.

11 Queen Victoria insisted on being buried with the bathrobe of her long-dead husband, Prince Albert, and a plaster cast of his hand.

12 If this doesn't work, we're trying in vitro! In Madagascar, families dig up the bones of dead relatives and parade them around the village in a ceremony called famadihana. The remains are then wrapped in a new shroud and reburied. The old shroud is given to a newly married, childless couple to cover the connubial bed.

13 During a railway expansion in Egypt in the 19th century, construction companies unearthed so many mummies that they used them as fuel for locomotives.

14 Well, yeah, there's a slight chance this could backfire: English philosopher Francis Bacon, a founder of the scientific method, died in 1626 of pneumonia after stuffing a chicken with snow to see if cold would preserve it.

15 For organs to form during embryonic development, some cells must commit suicide. Without such programmed cell death, we would all be born with webbed feet, like ducks.

16 Waiting to exhale: In 1907 a Massachusetts doctor conducted an experiment with a specially designed deathbed and reported that the human body lost 21 grams upon dying. This has been widely held as fact ever since. It's not.

17 Buried alive: In 19th-century Europe there was so much anecdotal evidence that living people were mistakenly declared dead that cadavers were laid out in "hospitals for the dead" while attendants awaited signs of putrefaction.

18 Eighty percent of people in the United States die in a hospital.

19 If you can't make it here . . . More people commit suicide in New York City than are murdered.

20 It is estimated that 100 billion people have died since humans began.

Dear English Learners, прочитайте этот замечательный анекдот и если вы не улыбнётесь после прочтения оного, тогда вы ничего не знаете об игре слов, и как следствие вряд ли будете смеяться над большинством английских анекдотов.

Amazing But True
Raven-haired - having shiny black hair
Go flat – сдуваться
proceed to do smth – приступать
wheel cover - колпак колеса

The limousine was taking the beautiful, raven-haired model to the airport. Halfway there, the front tire went flat.
The model said, "Driver, I don't have time to wait for road service. Can you change it yourself?"
The driver said, "Sure." He got out of the car and proceeded to change the tire, but couldn't get the wheel cover off.
The model saw him struggling and asked, "Do you want a screwdriver?"
He said "Sure! But, first I have to change this tire."

P.S. Have a go at these three. (Если первый не смешной)
***
Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job." The second woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!" To which the first replies, "Whoa I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"
***
A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great... some asshole's got my pen."
***
And my favourite one:
Two condoms walking past a gay bar.
One turns to the other and says "Wanna go get shit faced?"

Oh, Dear English Learners. I’m blushing. Oh… sorry… can’t comment on this issue… well, I’m listening to … music!



Invent – изобретать
Passionate – страстный
Determine – определять
Electrocute – убивать электрическим током, бить током

A musical condom has been invented that gets louder as the sex gets more passionate.
Different sexual positions determine what tune is played by the condom.
The contraceptive has tiny sensors connected to a mini electronic device that produces the sounds.
Ukrainian inventor Dr Grigoriy Chausovskiy said: "There is no danger of being electrocuted."
They will cost 20 per cent more than normal condoms. "But people will pay for the extra stimulation," he added.

Frozen Solid

(taken from theExile.ru solely for educational purposes)




бутик, по-старому, заставляет вновь поверить, возвращать к чему-то, белая горячка, как скелет, без остановки (устали), "дозаправка" ( дополнительная порция), бухло (бухалово) 



 Just when you start to worry that
Moscow's turning into another boutique town, along comes a
crime so old-school horrible that it restores your
faith in inhumanity. Last January, Moscow showed it still generates stories
that hark back to the bad old days, when winters really did kill.



It's New Year's Eve in a twelve-story building on Dubininskaya Street where three-year-old
Denis lives with his mother. His Mama, Natasha, is 31 going on delirium
tremens. She devotes her every waking hour to staying as drunk as possible
and doesn't have much left over for the boy, who's skeletally
thin and so neglected that he hasn't even begun to learn to talk. He criesincessantly instead.
Mama has a guest, Sasha, a 50-year-old drunk who's just been thrown
out of his apartment by his wife. Mama and Sasha drink until the
vodka runs out. Natasha decides to go out for a refill. She tells
Sasha to stay and watch out for Denis--and to make sure he does she locks the
old man inside.



But you can't keep a good drunk down, or rather upstairs. When Natasha doesn't
come backpronto, Sasha improvises a rope out of sheets, ties it to the
radiator and climbs down to the street. Intent on the search for more booze,
he forgets to close the window behind him.



Denis has one item of clothing, a fluffy jacket. It was a very
cold January in Moscow.
They don't manage to force the apartment door open until January 3, after the
neighbors have called everyone they can think of and tried getting in on their
own. Denis is lying on the sofa, frozen solid. 



Find the following words and word combinations in the article you've read.


- a small shop that
sells fashionable clothes, shoes, or jewellery

- characteristic or evocative of an earlier or original style, manner, or form

- to make faith return to its former level or condition

- to return (to an earlier subject in speech or thought)

- a severe condition characterized by delirium and trembling, caused by chronic
alcoholism

- continuing without stopping (often in an annoying way)

- another drink to refill your glass

- quickly

- alcoholic drink. (INFORMAL)

- made of or covered with something soft and light, such as wool, hair or
feathers in a physical state in which it resists changes in size and shape


 


Dear English Learners,


      Доунт форгет зэт ай ныд ёр фидбэк… соу зэт ай куд мэйк инглиш
бустер мор еджукейшэнал.  Any
kind of feedback is appreciated!


   Терпеть не можешь эту рассылку? Читаешь её с отвращением? Однако уверен, что должен
продолжать изучение английского языка? Выплесни весь негатив/позитив в самом
нездоровом сообществе рунета DEADLY ENGLISH!

It's been a while since we met last, dear English learners. The reason is I've been too busy arranging my grandfather's funeral. And you can guess what came after. Aha, 9 days, 40 days and that. It almost made me wish I were never dead not to put my relatives through such pain. I wish you'll never be as well. So here's what I have prepared for you today.

Deadly Word Boost
Find the English equivalents of the following words in the text:
выбросился, попытка, праздничный, 677,7 метров, потерял равновесие, зд. Однако это не означает, что; не помешала его падению, с тяжёлыми травмами головы, свидетели.





A German man threw himself out of a third story window along with a Christmas tree during a late-night attempt to take down his festive decorations.
The man fell 22 feet after he lost his balance. Unfortunately, the tree did not break the victim's fall.
"There's a TV advert showing people having fun throwing their old Christmas trees out the window," said police spokesman Willy Thevessen. "But you're not supposed to jump with them."
The man was taken to hospital with severe head injuries after eyewitnesses saw him fall.

Task 2: Look up your Russian-English dictionary for the word "придурок" and use it in at least 2 sentences of your own.

Task 3: Guess the word by its definition:
1. to try to do something that is difficult, dangerous, or has never been done before (it's a verb)
2. looking or feeling bright and cheerful in a way that seems suitable for celebrating something (it's an adjective)
3. very bad, or serious enough for you to worry about (it's an adjective)

Запомню назло всем or Bear in Mind
Difference between storey, story, floor

Storey (BrE) or story (AmE) is usually used to talk about the structure of a building
• a building dozens of storeys high
• a three-storey house
The plural of story is stories
• The office block was 20 stories high.

To talk about where someone or something is in a building, use floor
• We went up to the top floor and saw his dead body lying in a pool of blood int the hall.
• She works on the fifteenth floor, but you can pick up Cindy. We've got lots of them in our 20-storey building.
• Is there a bathroom on this floor?

Хочешь хорошо выучить английский язык? Нет ничего проще! Обучение английскому по христианской методике. Курс длится 33 года и заканчивается прибиванием тебя к кресту! Ну разве не здорово?

Детали узнаешь в сообществе Deadly English на mail.ru. Вступай брат, вступай сестра!

P.S. Отныне обещаю писать выпуски почаще. А вообще то, постойте ка. Вы так и не сказали, что думаете об этой рассылке. А ведь мне это важно. ... hmmm .... well, I guess… I mean I should think so … . Dying for your feedback, dear English learners. Ciao.

Issue 6 - Hard-to-Believe Facts
Hey there, English learners … or should I say lovers? This weekend’s "installment" of English Boostah is something of an intellectual challenge. Have you ever asked yourself : "What the hell am I doing here?" Or "What came first an egg or … chicken?" I always ask myself such questions… (Maybe that’s why they call me weird). It’s up to you to believe these facts or not.

10 Hard-to-Believe Facts:
1. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
2. Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
3. A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.
4. The first owner of the Marlboro cigarette Company died of lung cancer.
5. Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.
6. If the population of China walked past you in single line, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction
7. Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.
8. Wearing headphones for an hour increases the bacteria in your ear 700 times.
9. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
10. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

A Tip to Boot: "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language

Issue 7 - STAYING ALIVE

Ho-ho. What’s up, dear English learners? I hope you’re both alive and kicking… at the same time. I’ve spent the whole week thinking about the meaning of life and death, and I must assure you it’s been some hard thinking. The result? I’ve come to the conclusion they are both meaningful. And here’s a story to prove that.
DEADLY WORD BOOST

1. Translate the following words into Russian without using your battered English-Russian dictionary:
If you can identify someone or something, you are able to recognize them or distinguish them from others.
If you say that someone or something turns up, you mean that they arrive, often unexpectedly or after you have been waiting a long time.
If something is in full swing, it is operating fully and is no longer in its early stages.

READING FOR MAIN IDEA
Read the text and say what you’ve learnt from it:

STAYING ALIVE

Angela Saraiva, 20, from Argentina, was only gone for 20 hours and was amazed to find herself declared dead.
Her worried mother mistakenly identified a dead body as being that of her daughter. And the funeral was in full swing when Ms Saraiva finally turned up again.
She said: "My parents thought I was this woman because she looked just like me.
"I loved this whole experience, it made me realize how much my friends and family love me and how much they would miss me if I die; that made me feel important!"

CHEERS

P.S. Cледующий выпуск English Booster будет про любовь…. Наверное. Удачи Вам, диэр инглиш лёрнерз.

Intermediate
Deadly Grammar Boost
Сегодня задание будет самым заурядным! Open the brackets and use the verb in the right tense form. (Hint: there’s an answer key after the article)

Woman stabbed husband for refusing sex

An Argentinian woman has been arrested for stabbing her husband because he (not have) sex with her.
The 52-year-old, from Buenos Aires, (stab) her husband in the back but he (be not) seriously injured.
She police she (spend) the day trying to get him into bed but he (ignore) all of her hints.
The woman (say): "I (wear) a G-string and high heels in the house but he (not notice), I could not stand this.
"I got really mad and I stabbed him."
The husband (go) to the police station to lodge a complaint before going to hospital where he (be treated) for minor injuries.
A police spokesperson (say): "She did not think she did anything wrong, she (keep) saying that he was her husband and that he (have to) fulfill his obligations and that because he didn't she had the right to punish him."


KEY
did not have sex, stabbed, was not, told, had spent, had ignored, said, wore, did not notice, went, was treated, said, kept, had to

Повторение грамматических правил, которые так или иначе попадались и тут и там в рассылке с циничным названием English Booster. Каждое правило всегда было, есть и будет снабжено примером на закрепление.
Правило 1. Have something done употребляется, когда мы хотим сказать, что что-то было сделано за нас, мы не делали этого сами.
Пример: Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.

Правило 2. 1 дюйм = 2,54 см
Пример: Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.

Правило 3. Форма прошедшего времени глагола CAN - Could
Пример:Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.

Правило 4. Если два действия идут один за другим в прошлом, это называется succession и используется Past Simple в обоих случаях.
Пример: In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1inch.

Правило 5. В английском Passive Voice употребляется гораздо чаще, чем в русском.
Пример: The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

Правило 6. Спиртным лучше не увлекаться.
Пример: The most offensive drink is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt Pump'.

Правило 7. В превосходной степени к односложным прилагательным добавляй -est.
Пример: A German, Horst Schultz set the world record for the greatest distance a jet of semen could travel (18 ft 9). He achieved it with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also holds the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.

Правило 8. Passive Voice употребляется в английском гораздо чаще, чем вы думали.
Пример: The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.

Правило 9. Избегайте употребления could (правильнее managed to) для того, чтобы выразить, то, что у вас получилось однажды.
Пример: Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.

Запомню назло всем:

English Booster can definitely spoil your day.

Maggots found in man's head

Бугорки (шишки), кожа головы, личинки, овод, бежать по венам (о крови), организм-хозяин, питающий паразитов,


A US holidaymaker got a nasty surprise when he discovered the lumps on his scalp were live maggots.
Aaron Dallas, from Colorado, US, sought medical advice when the bumps appeared on his scalp after a trip to Belize.
But it was not until the bumps started moving that doctors realized Dallas had five live botfly maggots inside his head.

"I'd put my hand back there and feel them moving. I thought it was blood coursing through my head," said Dallas. "I could hear them. I actually thought I was going crazy."
Adult bot flies are larger and more aggressive than European flies. One type attacks livestock, deer and humans.
They rely on mosquitoes, stable flies, and other insects to carry their eggs to a host, which in this case was Dallas.
"It was weird and traumatic," said Dallas. "I would get this pain that would drop me to my knees."

Guess the word by its definition:

very shocking and upsetting, and causing psychological damage (adj.)
*

an opinion you give someone about what they should do (noun)
*

behaving in an angry, threatening way, as if you want to fight or attack someone (adj.)


Запомню назло всем:

Выражение have (got) a maggot in one's brain (или head) означает "быть человеком с причудами, иметь странные понятия


He's got a maggot in his brain on everything connected with art . — Он имеет самое странное понятие обо всем, что связано с искусством.


Вот ещё парочка значений из нового словарика Lingvo x3:

1.

Can I bum a maggot off of you? — Можно у тебя стрельнуть сигарету?
2.

He took a mighty drag on her cigarette, then snapped the maggot over the rail — Он глубоко затянулся ее сигаретой и швырнул окурок через перила
3.

Only a maggot would do something like that — На такое способен только настоящий подонок
4.

You maggot! Keep your lousy hands to yourself — Козел! Что лезешь со своими погаными руками?